Cross Country Love

2011-01-26T08:40:00.001-08:00

Moving here, there, and everywhere...

2010-06-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all!!! Its time for me to get a move on. Literally, AND here in bloggy land.

I've decided to go to the dark side. (and by that, I mean switch to wordpress).

I don't know all the ins and outs of it yet, but I'm learning, and I'm hoping that you'll make the choice to come and follow me over there. So far I know you can subscribe, but I'm not sure about much else.

There's so much that you'd miss by not following. There's the adventure of our move in 19 days, and the fun that comes with Baby making time.

Come on over... you know you wanna....

http://randomshmandom.wordpress.com/

Nashville. What lays ahead...

2010-05-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't been around.

I've been spending the last week getting the house ready to pack. Finding my bins, getting the paper, and gutting out stuff we won't be taking with us.

This new opportunity is exciting, scary, challenging, and an incredible opportunity. I've bounced around between all those emotions, as well as a couple of homesick moments, but all in all, I kinda can't wait to dig in.

Unless you've been visiting Mars for the last few weeks you'll know about the flood that's destroyed the lives of so many. Here are some pictures of OUR center and operations during and after the flood. These are not pictures I've taken, but they are the only one's we have.

During the Flood

This is our residential program. Our clients had to be removed by boat.

Our Chapel.

See the top of the van?

After the flood.

As you can see we've got a lot of work ahead of us.

Pity Party, Table for one?

2010-05-07T03:57:00.000-07:00

Ugh!! I did it again!! I turned a perfectly notmal day into this churning mass of emotions that left me sad, cranky and moody!! You'd think that one day, I'd learn not to do it to myself, but... I can't seem to get it through my head.

I'm lonely.

It sucks. I miss my friends. I miss having people to tlak to. To laugh with. To just relax with.

McHubby is wonderful, but he's got so much stuff going on right now with work he's doing, work he's planning on doing, and work others are telling him about. He seems preoccupied, when he's home, or we're out, he's checking his phone every 5 min in case there's something he's missed about work. And I get it. Sorta. I'm queen of the laptop, sitting on the couch means the laptop is in my lap. But I'm working on it, trying to get out of the habit and instead engaging on whats going on around me.

I kinda miss "the job" too. Having a phone, being important. That used to be my job. Now I get the distinct impression that my new job is a "McHubby's Wife" job. Maybe you know the kind? Where "woman's work" is just that, and where wives shouldn't worry their pretty little heads about things?

We're kinda going through a crisis at work. A pretty big one. And we're not even there yet. So people are trying to keep McHubby in the loop, and trying to make sure he knows what he's facin, but... I'm going there too. I'll be working there too. And right now, I feel directly on the opposite side of the loop. Like I'm getting tidbits of whats going on. McHubby tries to keep me up on what he knows, but like I said, he's got so much on his plate, and he's distracted so sometimes I know, sometimes we're talking about it and he says "I told you that already" andhe didn't and then I get sad because I'm not the person he's sharing his work stuff with, because in the run of the day he's bombarded with a whole bunch of stuff, and by the time he gets home, he's kinda on overload.

So you may remember my rant about McHubby having moved here before me, making friends before me, and me feeling like an outsider? Well with this new work thing, the new city, new people all that was supposed to change. It was supposed to be the time when people got to know Mr and Mrs wonderful, not just McHubby. This was my chance for "us" to make friends and meet people, not for me to just kind of intrude on relationships he's already built. I get the feeling thats not going to happen. With trying to find out as much as possible about what's going on, he's getting info from wherever he can.

It shouldn't bother me that he's already got people he can talk to in Nashville, when I don't have anyone in the country, right? It shouldn't bother me when people from his LAST move call him up to talk about stuff that I already feel left out of. Maybe I'm just jealous of the fact that he has people here who care about him, and I don't. Not in the same way he does. I have people I know, but no one I would call up if I was having a problem, or no one who calls to see how my day is going, or if I need someone to bounce things off of. Maybe it just reminds me of what I left behind.

I think what set it off was I spent an hour yesterday talking to someone from Canada, someone who I didn't really know all that well when I was there, aside from being their kids Sunday school teacher, and it felt so good to have that person to talk to. To have this person ask how I was, ask some pretty indepth stuff, because they cared about me, about what was going on with me. I felt good after I talked to her. In fact, better then I had in a LONG time, because I actually got to say how I was feeling, what I was thinking, and she was interested. And then it changed. I don't know why. But yesterday afternoon, I felt alone. And I threw myself a little pity party over it. to the point where I cried when he wouldn't tell me something about Farmville. Yep... I'm THAT nutty right now.

And the worst part was, I didn't or couldn't tell him what it was. What kind of wife gets upset when her husband tried to make new friends? I'm not that person, I don't want to be that person, but I want to be a PERSON, not just "and wife" or "Mrs." and I don't have that here.

I miss home. The routine, the places, the people. Or maybe I just miss Me.

Please excuse the mess... but there's a natural disaster happening!

2010-05-03T06:55:00.000-07:00

Last post I mentioned that we were moving. It's an exciting time for our family. We've been keeping a close watch on the happening's in Nashville.

If you're living under a rock, and don't know what's going on right now, here's what CNN is saying.

A storm that killed at least 15 people in Tennessee and Mississippi rolled into Georgia early Monday, flooding parts of Atlanta.

The rain and flooding left at least 11 dead Sunday in Tennessee, closing interstates, displacing thousands from their homes, prompting evacuations of hotels and nursing homes, and turning streets and parking lots into raging rivers.

Parts of the state were drenched with up to 20 inches of rain, and more was expected.

In Nashville alone, more than 1,000 people were rescued from the water over the weekend, city officials said.

(Officials) said Sunday that more rain has fallen in Nashville in the last 24 hours than has ever been recorded in the city.

The job we've got waiting for us in Nashville is this; We're assuming command (official lingo) of The Salvation Army's Nashville Adult Rehabilitation Center (or ARC).

ARC's comprise the largest resident rehabilitation program in the United States. Individuals with identifiable and treatable needs to to these centers for help when they no longer are able to cope with their problems. There they receive adequate housing, nourishing meals and necessary medical care, and they engage in work therapy. Residents may be referred or be remanded by the courts. Our holistic approach provides rehabilitation for the Body, Mind, and Spirit.

We've gotten word this morning that our ARC was flooded with 40" of water, and has been evacuated.

Please Please Please, if you're the praying type at all, pray for not only the people of the southeast who are affected by this (TENNESSEE, MISSISSIPPI, ATLANTA, KENTUCKY, and INDIANA) but for the staff and clients of our ARC. The men who are struggling as it is against all odds to turn their lives around. These are men who've been places we've only had nightmares about. And now these men are facing this new devastation.

See the sign on the side? "Hope" is being washed away. I am willing to bet many of them are feeling like this building this am. Please pray that they feel Gods presence with them as they are displaced.

Ta-Da!

2010-04-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

Ok.. so it's a little past noon, my announcement has obviously lost some of its shine, but here it is for those of you who couldn't guess from the hints.

We're moving!!!!

Some of you may remember that it was only 4 short months ago that my son and I packed up and moved to Virginia from Canada.

We knew that we'd be moving. McHubby was training here, so we knew the plan was to eventually have our own center. And yesterday, we got our call.

We're off to Nashville, and hopefully that will be our last move for a while. I'm a little nervous because Munchkin was just getting settled into a routine at the new school, with his new meds, and we were just getting a good handle on things with his teacher. Having to up root all that we've worked on with him is a little nerve-wracking, but I'm hoping we'll be able to get things in order.

So the last day of school is June 25th, thanks to Mother Nature and her decided to take a massive dump ~~of snow~~ on us, so we'll be leaving June 26th to drive down.

Stay tuned for all the fun and enjoyment of packing ALL over again.

I have a secret!!!

2010-04-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

I'm not allowed to tell what it is until Noon!!!

that's just under 2 hours away!!! Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?

I find out a secret, I HAVE to blab it!!

And this is an exciting one!!

Ok... McHubby said Noon... I can do this....

But maybe just a little hint... for those of you who are interested... maybe I could just tell you one thing....

Hmmm... Maybe that's not enough of a hint... because you could think we bought a tape store... or that my OCD was getting the best of me... Maybe I found tape on sale.... I wonder if there IS tape on sale... but.. anyways... back to the secret....

Now that I think about it, that wasn't a very good clue. It was about as muddy as ... a mud puddle? (hmm.. my brain must stil be asleep)

So... I think this is a much better clue...

Is it getting clearer? Maybe not because random stacks of boxes can ALWAYS be found around my house. I LOVE to organize, so its not uncommon to find boxes laying about. In fact, there are a couple at my feet as I type.

That is it!! Thats the only hint I can give you!! Now please stop asking!!!!! You're going to get me in trouble... and then I'm going to get this look!!!

And thats NEVER a good thing...

2010-04-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

It's Earth Day!!

I have to admit I'm not sure what our family is doing for Earth Day this year. We have Munchkin's science fair tonight so I guess our house will be power free for a few hours. The Eldest one is in lock up, so the fridge will be closed for more then 5 minutes at a time, and the computer will get a rest.

I like to think we're an environmentally friendly family to begin with. We recycle, we reduce, we reuse. When we look at purchases, we consider the impact on the environment.

Munchkin has been a practicing vegetarian for about 3 months now. By doing so, he can reduce his Carbon Footprint by up to 1.5 tons of CO2 a year. Thats an incredible step for a 7 year old!

We have 3 kids. We're bringing at least 2 more into this crazy world. What kind of parents would we be if we didn't do everything we can to help this planet stay healthy? We wont be bringing the babies home without baby proofing the house, so why would we without helping secure some kind of future for the world our babies will be growing up in?

I am an animal loving, tree hugging, earth kissing person, and I want my children to grow up seeing that, and hopefully joining in it, so I want to do whatever I can.

So imagine my surprise when I decided to check out the blog of one of my new commenters. My Mecurial Nature had a really cool post about Earth Day. And in it, she mentioned that her blog was going Carbon Neural. Are you kidding? How cool is that?? I didn't even think about the fact that my blog LEFT a carbon footprint.

(For those of you NOT in the know, a Carbon Footprins is "the total set of greenhouse gases (GHG) emissions caused by an organization, event or product" [1]. For simplicity of reporting, it is often expressed in terms of the amount of carbon dioxide, or its equivalent of other GHGs, emitted.)

So... what can I do to change the Carbon Footprint caused by my Blog?

Kaufda.de is an organization that has made the commitment to plant a tree for every blog that meets the requirements (Blogs about the initiative). Pretty cool stuff!!

So as of today,

Play Ball!

2010-04-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

Alright Fellow Bloggers, and family members who lurk my blog (yep... I know you do it. Google shows me, so you can't hide your shame!) I need your help.

McHubby and I have a STRONG difference of opinion on something. At first, when we'd discuss it, it literally caused us to fight. Now, about 2 months later, we're at least able to laugh while we talk about it, but it's still a sore topic.

I'm a girl (surprise!)

There are certian parts of the male anatomy that I won't even pretend to understand. For the sake of those of you who read with your kid on your lap, we'll call them... Tenders. (After Munchkin came home from his first week in grade two calling them EVERY name imaginable, tenders was the only name we allowed in the house).

Being the only girl (for now) in a family of 4 boys, Tenders are discussed a lot more then you'd imagine. Frequently through the house, you'll hear "Careful! My tenders!"

I sometimes think that its a little bit of an exageration. I'll flop my hand down on the bed, and McHubby goes "Hey! that was almost my tenders!" I usually roll my eye's and then flop my hand down again, a little closer this time to show that there were still miles and miles of room.

About 2 months ago, McHubby and I were on the couch watching TV with The Eldest. I was laying down and my feet were in his lap. I have tickleish feet. VERY! Like scream and yell and kick to get away if you tickle them. So McHubby takes it upon himself to tickle my tootsies. In between gasps for air, I tell him to stop. Like he's going to, right? So he keeps tickleing, and I'm pushing him, kicking, even punching his arm. And he wont stop. So, I do what anyone would do when they're being attacked. I tell him "If you tickle me again, I'm going to kick you in the tenders!"

And what does he do? Does he respond like any attacking animal would when a warning shot is fired off? NO! He starts tickling me again!

So I kicked him! Not hard, not some kind of tender rupturing shot, but... I kicked him. Right in the Tenders.

And here lays the problem.

I kicked him. I take ownership that it may not have been the RIGHT thing to do. BUT I told him I was going to do it! He feels that all the responsibility lays with me, and my "Super kick". But I disagree.

If you do "A", then "B" will happen. If you still choose to do "A", then you need to take ownership of it. I am a woman of my word. If I tell you I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it (as long as I remember. I have a memory like a Sive!).

If you steal, you'll be arrested! If you steal anyways, is it the cops fault you got arrested?

If you don't study, you'll fail the test. If you then fail, is it the teachers fault?

If you tickle me, I'll kick you in the tenders... tickle tickle.... kick. Is it ALL my fault? I think that he should take SOME ownership of the kick.

What do YOU think??

2010-04-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

I've bought baby clothes.

I've started collecting things for the nursery.

Like this cute shelf.

Free samples of diapers are slowly filling a container in my dining room.

Blankets have been washed, folded and stored away.

Family has been told what to expect.

If we're lucky, this time next year we'll be getting ready for our little one(s) to join our family. We'll be a month away from holding them in our arms, a month away from our prince/princess.

I'm extactic, I can't wait!

And I have to be honest. There are a couple people who, when I'm around them, they give off this vibe that my son and I are "intruding" on something private, something we're not really a part of. I've got to be honest, when Becky and Sam hit the scene, it may just be the catalist I need to tell them what I really think, instead of dwelling on it till it builds up, like it does now.

We have 2 sets of very happy grandparents anxiously awaiting, and making bets that our little one will be a boy. But McHubby and I... We've got a feeling... and our Pink is waiting to join our family. Our PINK is waiting, and there are some people.. they can just eat their hearts out.

2010-04-16T17:29:00.001-07:00

Dislike:

*ring* *ring* *ring* *ring* *ring* *ring* Answering Machine - Thank you for calling Fairfax County 911. Please hold and an operator will be with you.

Like:

Officer: "I'm sorry but I assume you're... step mom? You look much too young to have a 16 year old"

See.. I knew there would be a silver lining in it somewhere... :P

Today is the day!

2010-04-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Body,

Thank you so much for all you've done over the last 8 years.

Nurturing a little being, when at times it seemed impossible.

Staying healthy for 6 years despite all the things I did that would have made most people very sick.

Withstanding years of abuse at the hands of someone else, and yet still holding on strong, making it easier to walk away when the time came.

We haven't always gotten along you and I. I know I've said some things about you that were hurtful. Mean even. And you were nice enough to pay me back with a few pounds here, and a few pounds there.

I know that we haven't always seen eye to eye on our choices. Like when I want to walk around downtown for hours and you repay me with shin splints and a quick jab to the syatic nerve. Or when I think its a good idea to go a couple days without eating, and you think its a better idea to stab an ice pick through my left temple.

But I've got some big plans coming up.

Summer is around the corner, and I'd love to be able to hit a beach or two without being miserable just because I feel self conscious. And maybe a picture or two with McHubby where I don't erase it right away because I hate how I look.

AND the babies... we can't forget about the babies!! Body, you and I both need to be in tip top shape to do this pregnancy thing one, or two more times.

So today, as hard as it is to say, You're Fired. You will no longer be able to influence the major decisions in my life, your eating as you please perks have been revoked, and you will be required to hand in your "Parking your ass on the couch " permit.

I'll continue to look back fondly on our times with you in charge, but there comes a time in every person's life when a decision like this needs to be made, and today is OUR day.

I've got the meal plan, the work out plan, and the motivation to get THIS party started.

Best of luck in your future endeavours,

Sincerely,

Sharon's Will Power

P to the U to the P-P-Y!

2010-04-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

I promised a happy blog!! I promised cute and furry and I plan to deliver!

But first I want to say thank you to someone.

I have a friend. Well, she and I never really hung out, or spent a lot of time together, but we've known each other for a long time. Through Facebook we've caught up on each othere's lives, me living vicariously through her celeb spottings in sunny California, and her well... looking at my boring pictures :)

She's been a fountain of information for me, SHE moved down to the states from Canada and when I was getting ready for my move, she was awesome. Willing to share any info she could to help it go easier. Yesterday she shared with me about her experience with "Line A-ers". It was so great knowing that I wasn't crazy, that I wasn't just over reacting to people, or being overly sensitive.

Thanks!!

Okay... on to the Puppy!!

McHubby, The Eldest, Munchkin and I have been all over the place during March Break. Remember we went to Canada? and then we headed down to Atlanta on Business/Vacation. Well, when we were on our way back from Atlanta, My baby aches were pretty bad. I was in serious need of someone to love and hug and call George. (you know... the bugs bunny catoon with the abominable snow man?? No? here... )

So we stumbled across this little guy...

Meet Harley. Our 10 week old Shneagle. (Part Mini Schnauzer, Part Beagle)

He fits right into our family!

And is trying to fit right into big brother's shoes.

Like Monkey see...

Monkey do!

Our Legacy for Becky and Sam

2010-04-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

** I saw this on another blog, and thought how closely it represented our love for these babies that will be entering our lives in the next few months.

Once there were two men

Who never knew of each other

One you never knew

The other you call father.

Two different lives shaped to make yours one

One became your guiding star

The other became your sun.

The first one gave you life

And the second taught you to live in it

The first gave you a need for life

And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality

The other gave you a name

One gave you the seed of talent

The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions

The other calmed your fears

One is there in your first sweet smile

The other dried your tears.

One gave you to us, it was all that he could do

The other prayed for a child

And God led him straight to you.

And now you ask me through the tears,

The age-old questions through the years:

Heredity or Environment-which are you a product of:

Neither my darling-neither

Just two different kinds of love.

I'm exhausted!

2010-04-12T05:06:00.000-07:00

There's no nice way to put it, no spin on it that makes it sound like I'm having so much fun I forgot to sleep.

I'm tired. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be cranky. I HATE knowing when I'm going to be cranky, because I usually then go out of my way to try and NOT be, but it ends up that I'm worse then before I started.

I'm going to tell you why. But you have to promise you wont judge me for it. If you don't think you can read this without judging, here's your out... click this to be directed to something a little softer for a Monday morning. Airing my personal matters on a blog?? The shame!! But.. you'll soon see why only a few of my real life peeps are included in the venting circle.

Friday started with the 2 headed fire breathing creature that has inhabited my oldest son's body being put on House Arrest for violating the terms of his probation. Thats right. I'm a parent who's kid has chosen to rebel in pretty much ANY way possible, and this is where we are. (remember... you can't judge me... you promised!)

Why he's on probation isn't important to my cranky-ness right now, so I'm not going to bother with it.

Hang on... actually Friday started at 12:30am, with the cops at my door after we filed a missing person's report Thursday night when, thinking it would be good to break his court mandated curfew, he decided he'd sleep at a friends house. The cops tracked him down, and 12:30am they were verifying that he was BACK at home.

Friday he met with his probation officer, who told him he was on house arrest for the weekend. The Eldest one, in his infinate teenage knowledge, looked at his P.O. and said "Nope, I'm not. I have a party I'm going to tomorrow, I'm not going home."

Friday night he was home by curfew. So McHubby and I thought, well, at least he's home. And we tried to sleep. Except that Eldest was acting like a monkey at the zoo, pacing, ratteling the bars to see if there's a weak spot. So obviously, we didn't sleep too well, waiting to hear the sound of a door closing.

Saturday morning started with a refreshing bout of screaming and tantrum throwing, followed by a quick fist through a bedroom wall, and our friends in the white and blue cars were back. We were given a 48 hour window to talk to his P.O to see if we needed to press charges for the destruction of property (again!) or if we could just go on how the rest of the weekend went to see what the P.O would do. (still on house arrest here, remember)

Saturday we had errands to run. We went out, and when we got back, no kiddo. We knew the party was on, and figured he'd be home after it. We didn't figure that would equal pounding on the door at 1 AM to be let in,complete with thug attitude dripping from every inch of him. So... no sleep that night.

Sunday we went to church (kiddo would usually have had to come with us, but house arrest ='s no acceptions). We got back from church, no kiddo. McHubby and I decided to do a little redecorating while he was gone. 50" Tv in his room? gone. Chair he hid his smokes in and threw around when he was mad? gone. Lamps on his night stand that are a perfect size and weight for throwing? gone. Door he used to slam and lock us out while he slipped through the bathroom window? gone.

Looking through your son's room, trying to decide what he could use as a weapon is a hard thing. To try and fit your head around this person he was at the moment, does nothing but make you wonder what can he be thinking?

March 9th, our son was handcuffed and removed from our house. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to witness. One of the hardest things we've ever had to do was make the phone call that set that in motion. For 21 days, he sat in custody, going to school there, eating, sleeping there, and attending counselling sessions there.

There was work for us to do during that time too. We had to attend counselling sessions, group sessions, family sessions, all of which were informative, none of which were easy. During these sessions we'd hear how he did for the week, we'd learn about his goals he had set for himself, and read an essay a week about how he was feeling.

The first week, the essay was about how everything was my fault. The arguing, his crimes against the state, all of it my doing. The second week, his counsellor sat down with us and told us that kiddo had finally owned up and admitted that it WASN'T my fault, that we'd only ever had 1 fight, and that he wasn't right to say it was all my fault. We opened up that weeks essay, and it was all McHubby's fault.

There was no acceptance of blame on his part. His counsellors had been calling him on it since he got there, that nothing was HIS fault. That group counselling session, his counsellor looked him straight in the eye and said do you know how many people in here would kill for what you have sitting at this table? You have a dad and a mom who love you, who are here asking what they can do to support you, to help you. You have this woman who I'm not even comfortable calling Step-mom. She loves you, she's taken care of you since you were a baby. She's your mom! This is your dad! and they love you and want you home.

Man did we cry. All of us! Big ol' bawl fest, right there in the group room.

And now, 13 days after he got out, we've had the cops at our house twice, talked with his P.O way more then we ever did before, and last night? When he finally came home at 12:30, and I couldn't sleep because you never really know when the next wave of anger from him will hit, McHubby rolled over and asked if I'd sleep better if the baseball bat we keep in our bedroom were on my side of the bed. That is where we've gottten.

Locks on our bedroom doors, circling the block before we come home to see if there will be people we don't know there when we get there. Bad dreams about fights, and guns, and all kinds of things unimaginable. locking up everything of value before we go out.

This is NOT what we wanted for our happily ever after. This is NOT the life we wanted for The Eldest. This is NOT the environment we wanted for our youngest. This is NOT how we wanted to spend the months before baby time.

Maybe now my rant about parents who have no clue telling us what to do, or asking about The eldest and then the rest of us as an after thought, is a little more understandable. We are all once jumbled up entity, there is no him or us. His actions affect us, our actions affect him.

And annoying actions? They just make me cranky.

Tomorrow I promise... no cranky... I have some pics I've been waiting to show off. We got something... I won;t tell you what, but cute doesn't even begin to describe...

Ok... maybe one little hint...

It starts with P and ends in Uppy!!!

And now for something kinda sorta not really completely different...

2010-04-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

Now that THAT unpleasantness is over with, can I just say WOW!!

I have had a whole lot of negativity floating around out there lately. My last two posts have been filled with some heavy pity party stuff.

Before I left for Canada, I was telling you about this ~~woman~~ ~~girl~~ ~~chick~~ ~~child~~ ~~b*&(h~~ person who didn't like me, and how it was making me feel so uncomfortable that I didn't want to go anywhere that we'd be together. I was hoping that my trip away would make a difference. That her crap would just roll off me. Well, I'm back. So did it change?

Yes and no.

While on Vacation, I had to do something I wasn't really sure I wanted to do. Something that involved my personal belief system, my morals, my values, my self esteem, and something that I once swore I'd never do again. What it was doesn't matter. The only person who knows is McHubby, and the blip it caused in our bliss made it pretty obvious that I was struggling with it. I walked away from the experience thinking about all that I had given up, all that I had wanted, and all that I had changed.

There have been some major changes in my life in the last year (and some a little further back). Some incredible, some hard to make, and some I regret. While I was thinking about them, right in the middle of my sulking about the thing I didn't really want to do, I started to build resentments. I started to dwell on the changes, and got really mad at myself. (and then really snippy with everyone else, but that's a different story)

I am a people pleaser. I like to make people happy. And I think at one point I was good at it. But I think by trying to please everyone else, I changed a lot of what made ME happy. Like... I loved my job. LOVED it. and I loved the responsibility I had. When I was asked to take on MORE responsibility, and do MORE things that made my boss happy, I said yes, because I'm a people pleaser. and then 6 months later, I burnt out. By giving her the break from her responsibility, I lost myself, and when I burnt out I lost my confidence, my self esteem, and my desire to show everyone what I AM capable of.

In wanting to make everyone else happy, I lived for almost a year without the other half of my heart. and with that, I gave up my confidence in us, in our relationship at times. I gave up my smile, my laugh, my joie de vivre. There are things I wonder if I'll always struggle with, after that year apart.

In wanting to make everyone else happy, I've lost myself in group gatherings. We go out with to dinner with friends, hang out with family, and I become this person that even I don't recognize at times. When I'm in a situation that I find uncomfortable, I become very shy, and try to blend in with the decorations. When I'm in a situation that I think other people are uncomfortable with BECAUSE I'm there, if I can manage to say 2 words, it'd probably blow McHubby away.

So back to this chick. And her rudeness. When she went (and still does go) out of her way to try and make me feel small, or like I don't belong, that made me change who I was. And in doing that, made things hard between McHubby and I, because he felt like I didn't want to be with there with him. And that is the FURTHEST thing from the truth. And those arguments, those hard times between McHubby and I, I hate them. I despise them, and I am SO over someone else having the power to cause them.

So this chick. Forget her! McHubby is out of the house 12 hours a day, and exhausted a lot of the times he comes home. Am I going to let some fake jerk take what time i DO get with him from me? Not a chance. Am I going to let some spoiled little girl ruin my good time with his friends? PLEASE!!

Will she still bother me? Yeah. When she says my husbands name in that baby talk voice of hers, will I tell her off? Maybe. When she turns her back to me while I'm trying to talk, will I stop talking? Actually I think I might just ramble on a little longer because then at least I don't have to look at her. If some chick wants to act like a little spoiled child and get pissy and bitchy with me just because she doesn't have all the attention anymore, thats her problem. (and if she pisses me off, thats going to be her problem too )

Am I comfortable with her and my husband being friends? No. Not really. Because if she was a true friend of his, wouldn't the fact that the love of his life is finally with him make her happy for us? Other people, people I had never met or spoken to, walked up and hugged me my FIRST day there, and said "I'm so glad you're finally here". That is what a TRUE friend would do.

So she can act like she's the queen of the castle. I don't really care. In a few months time, we'll be moving on to a new kingdom anyways.

But she bats another eyelash or lays so much as a misplaced finger on my prince charming, and a fire breathing dragon will be the least of her worries.

Here's a quarter... call anyone but me.

2010-04-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

Do you like getting advice? Like if you are stuck on a problem, do you like hearing from someone else? Their ideas, their input?

How about if that advice is unsolicited? If random person not really involved in the situation walks up to you out of the blue and proceeds to wedge their nose directly between you "Busi" and "ness" (Business... get it? hahah!)

How about if it's the LAST person in the world who should be giving advice about the topic? like for example Lindsey Lohann or Brittney Spears advising Miley Cyrus on how to keep her image squeaky clean. Or Tom Cruise leading a Mental Health workshop. You get where I'm coming from with this, yeah?

As a social worker, its my job to give advice. Well.. actually its my job to listen to people and help them realize their OWN advice, and listen to their own inner self, but... its kinda the same deal. I got paid to provide input and brain storm solutions. So... you'd think advice wouldn't bother me.

But here's the difference. Before advising a mom who had her kids removed from the home that I'd go with her and fight to get them back, I'd find out about the situation. I'd investugate the home situation. Why were the kids taken? Is there an abusive family member? Is there an unsafe living condition? and THEN we'd work on solutions.

If I were a Dr, I couldn't just prescribe cold medication to a person without finding out their medical history, to find out if there could be an adverse reaction, or an allergy or anything.

Why is it, as parents, people feel they are completely qualified to walk in and start sprouting words of wisdom to other parents and children when they haven't been through the situation themselves?

If you are telling me, parent to parent, how to deal with an out of control teen when your children are in diapers, Please join line A, where you will be lead to a sound proof room to sprout off your words of wisdom to others just like you (who will tell you your babies cry too little, too much, are too fat, too skinny, too spoiled, attention deprived). Come back again in 12-13 years

If you are the parent of a Golden Child, who at 16 rebelled by not eating their lima beans, DONT assume that you did everything right, and that I'm doing everything wrong. Or that you can swoop in and fix everything because you are the golden parent. You may feel free to join line A as well.

Or... best yet.. if you don't have kids, and like to wander from parent group to parent group informing everyone they are doing it ALL wrong, join line A.. There's a special spot for you.

IF you have watched your child get handcuffed and removed from your home, please join line B.
If you have had to sit through court and watch the child you raised be sentenced to hard time, Line B.
IF you have cried yourself to sleep almost every night knowing that what you are doing is the right thing, but feeling like crap for doing it, line B please.

Line B, you are the people I LOVE hearing advice from. You are the people who have been there, who know the struggles and who more often then not just simply listen when its needed. Or offer a reassuring "You're doing the right thing" or a "I know how you feel, I've been there".

So, dear people from line A who I don't think read my blog but just in case will remain anonymous, before you go off sprouting more words of wisdom, or assuming you can swoop in and fix the problem when you haven't cared enough to call and ask how things are going, or what you can do, or if you can just think/pray/hope things change. If you don't know the full situation, please do us both a favour, and keep your stupid on the inside, just for today.

Line B people, you'll never know how much your thinking/prayer/hope means. Sharing your experiences, saying "you're not alone" fills the dark spots. And the king of line B, who calls EVERY day, just to say "I love you. I support you" You are what keeps the world turning some days.

Line A... ~~suck it!~~ dismissed.

Do you know what today is?!?!?!?!?!?!

2010-03-25T05:34:00.000-07:00

Today I go home!!! I get to see my family, my friends, and my country!! 3 days in the best place on earth (yep... it even tops Disney! lol) and why is it the best??

And... Perhaps one of the best...

What do you do when you live in a shoe?

2010-03-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met someone who didn't like you? I'm not talking about the mom who overheard you talking about her in play group, or the stranger you flipped off while driving. I mean someone who really, for no good reason, doesn't like you.

There is such a person in my life right now. Not everyone has to like me. I'm fine with that. But... they do have to have a reason. I literally said "Hi" to this person, and instantly, there was a problem. We see each other twice a week. We eat at the same table. We talk to the same people, and its like I don't exsist. Actually its worse then if I don't exsist. Its as if she goes out of her way to make sure I understand that there's something about me that offends her. Ignoring me when I attempt to start a conversation, sucking her teeth every time I walk past, physically turning her back to me when we are stuck sitting next to each other and making sure she addresses EVERYONE but me at some point during our time together..

I can usually shrug it off. But something about her doing this gets to me. I don't know if its the annoying way she goes out of her way to "baby talk" my husband, or DEMAND the attention of everyone in a room, or maybe its the fact that NO ONE seems to have a problem with it. There are people with us whenever we're around each other, and its impossible to be ignorant of the way she acts, and yet, everyone smiles and ignores it. McHubby has offered to help, but what is he going to do? Ask her to please be nice to me because I'm a little sensitive? He's friends with her, and her family? They're in a position of authority over us... so what exactly can he do? I tell him not to, but there are times when it hurts for me to know that he sees it, and is still her friend.

I've had a hard week. I'm struggling with Munchkin's impending medication trials for ADD, and with trying to feel like I'm a good mom who can help him, when it feels like I really can't. Homework sessions breakdown into yelling matches when positive re-enforcement doesn't work. I'm trying to get him on a schedule, some kind of routine that EVERY expert says will help. But things keep popping up that mess with it, and everytime I think we'll get a handle on his routine, we've bumping it for something else.

The Eldest and I had a fight. A BAD fight. And I'm worried that things wont be the same. And I'm worried that the strain of our fight will put a strain on McHubby and I. I'm worried that everyone will get to say "I told you so" about our family not being able to make it, and I think I've cried about it for 2 weeks straight.

I miss my friends. I miss when I have a problem like this, having them to talk to about it. I miss being able to go places with them. If they were here, I could bring them with me when I have to face this person who doesn't like me, and at least I wouldn't be the outsider, which is how she makes me feel. Even when I'm with my own family. I miss having my friends say "Wow.. you're right, it is uncomfortable" and having them sympathize with me.

I have my family, and they are all I have ever wanted and more. I have my boys, my husband, and our happily ever after. But I think his being here for months before I came, is harder now that I'm here, now that I'm trying to fit into the relationships he's already built. I feel awkward, unelegant, blundering, unrefined, and inept. I feel like I'm back in high school, trying to find where I fit in, what to do to be "cool" or to be accepted. Those aren't feelings I'm used to, and they certianly aren't qualities I think anyone would find endearing.

We're going to Canada for March Break. I'm hoping that I'll find myself again, because right now, I feel like I'm floundering...

! Baby News Alert !

2010-03-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

Drum Roll Please...

We have made some progress in the baby making!!

I've cried and cried for months about this baby ache I've had, but truth be told, we were at a standstill. There were choices to be made that we just kind of bypassed. We knew there were medical issues we'd have to tackle, financial issues we'd have to examine, and that until that was done, our babies were like a dream, just out of reach.

At our wits end, we finally broke down and had a conversation that was long over due. We talked about methods of having the babies, cost of the different methods, and what WE wanted most.

We can't have a baby of our own. Unless there is some serious miracle working going on upstairs, we'll need to find a different way to add to our family. And so we talked and figured out what works for us.

When I was pregnant with Munchkin, I was young, unprepared, and in what was the worst relationship of my life. With a guy who was physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive. Unfortunately we were pregnant once before, and when he found out, he ... well.. lets just say I was black and blue for a few days, and there was no more baby. When I found out I was pregnant with Munchkin, there was no way I was prepared to care for a kid. No way that I could get my life together enough to support this baby. So I made the choice to put him up for adoption after he was born.

For months I went to the counseling sessions, making plans to have this baby and then move on with my life. One of the things the counselor advised was to avoid bonding with the "fetus". No absently stroking my belly while he practiced his kick boxing, no chatting about baby names, comparing belly size with the other mommies-to-be at my work. I wouldn't let anyone touch my belly, talk about the baby, or in any way involve me in anything regarding the "visitor" in my belly.

The day he was born, the Dr's cut the cord and passed him to me. The nurses were supposed to call the social worker to come and get the baby, but when he was in my arms, in that second, EVERYthing changed. He was my baby. MY boy. The little guy who'd been sparing with my bladder for the last 9 months, the monkey who thought it would be fun to hang on my ribs, practice for the world cup, and clearly object to my meal choices by forcing them back out the way they came in.

He was mine from that second on, and there was no way anyone would take him from me. That day "dad" was gone from my life. No way I would let my son grow up in that environment. I moved home with my parents, who supported me in more ways then I could ever remember to thank them for.

But there's always been this part of me, this longing for those kicks, for reading stories to this squirmy little being inside my body. I want to give in to crazy middle of the night cravings. To stay up late at night with his/her dad, talking about first dates, first words, first everything's.

So when McHubby and I started talking baby options, it was something I dreamed about. We spent hours making plans for Becky and Sam, and what we drempt and hoped for them. When we talked about our "How" for the babies, I laid it all out on the table, what I missed, what I wanted. And my husband, my rock, my person, my dream come true after 16 incredible years, he said "ok".

I know that words alone will never be enough to tell him how much that means to me. Its a sacrifice not many people would be willing to make, and its one he made for me, for our babies. And I will ALWAYS be reminded of his unselfish love every time I look at our kids.

Our babies won't look like him. They may not be his blood type, but those babies will be as much his as our other three boys. They will run to the door to greet him at the end off a work day, arms stretched up and say "da-da Up!" They'll snuggle into his arms at bedtime, and they'll fight to be the first to tell him about their day. They'll be OUR babies, but these two, these special two, they will be HIS, in some ways, more then our other 3 are, because of the selfless Daddy choice that he's made long before they've been conceived.

But now I'm worried. What will other people think? Will they look at Becky and Sam differently? Will they try and talk us out of it? I worry that some of them already look at Hayden as part of some kind of extended, not really family, tag along. We have family and friends that haven't even said congrats to our engagement, let alone our wedding that took place 3 months ago. What will they think of ones that don't share their genes. Our parents have signed off, said "way to go", "have fun trying" and are excited about adding to their family. But what if everyone else doesn't feel the same.

So I started this blog just to say that we'd made a time line, and the rest of this has just come pouring out. But... I guess maybe it needed to. Not to leave you hanging, here's the baby plan.

We start "trying" in September. If we're lucky, that gives us a baby by May. So... if all goes well... in a little over a year, our babies should be here... Oh... and because we know that we now have an increased chance of multiples, we've picked a couple other names, just to be on the safe side.. so... should Rebecca Melina come with a sister, Amanda Kathryn will get to share in the pink frilly joy, and if Samuel Cohen decides he needs a brother, Nathaniel Sterling will have to learn to share dump trucks.

Neither of us will be disappointed if the babies are one sex or the other, but here's a picture of the grandkids on both sides of the family. See if you can tell who WE think needs a little representation...

McHubby's side. Our three boys, and 2 of his 4 nephews.

My side of the family. Munchkin, my 3 nephews, and my cousin's 2 boys...

Where's the PINK?!?!?

because I'm missing the Great White North this am...

2010-03-03T04:50:00.001-08:00

I LOVE my Husband!

2010-03-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when you spend weeks on end pouting and crying about babies...

And there's tape and a permenant marker close by...

And an incredible husband who would let you do anything if it meant you would smile...

I LOVE you Baby!!

...

2010-02-26T06:43:00.000-08:00

Thats is.

Just
...

Wrong month to give up fasting. I could sure go for some emotional eating right about now.

I'm late for a very important date...

2010-02-25T04:44:00.000-08:00

I rolled over in our big bed all alone this AM when the alarm went off, and my first thought was "I'm not pregnant". Then my hands automatically slid to my belly and rested there (like they do every morning) while I tried not to think about it, and tried to start my day with a prayer different then the one I've said every morning ~~afternoon, evening, every 10 min~~ for the last two months.

I'm not but I wish I was. I wish I was so bad that I can smell that new baby smell when I close my eyes.

Guess what I'm doing tonight? Taking a test... Taking THE test...

I can say I am 99.9% sure I am not, and even that might be low balling it. If I am, there would have to be some pretty heavy Divine Intervention.

But I'm Not. I know I'm not. So why am I taking a test? Because I'm fasting. McHubby and I started fasting on Feb 17th. I complained and moaned about having to fast while it was THAT time of the month. PMS, Bloating, and Craving were all a part of my stinkin' thinkin' before we started. That was 9 days ago, and now I'm starting to get a little worried.

But I'm not, I know that I'm not. I know that the lack of nutrients in my system can easily cause a disruption to the natural flow of things. I KNOW that! I UNDERSTAND that!

I'm not. I know that I'm not. But McHubby and I started talking about it on Sunday, when I first mentioned I was late for a very important date. We started talking about if, by the grace of God, we somehow were... then it would be ONLY because of His help, and surely he'd help to protect the baby till we took our heads out of the clouds and figured out what was up.

But I'm not. I know I'm not. So last night, when I mentioned our guest was still a no show, we talked about it again. That we knew it was just the fast, that it was just my body adjusting and hoarding, but... what if it wasn't? Were we willing to go 40 days without knowing? Blissfully unaware?

I'm not. I know I'm not. But... I need to KNOW. So tonight, when I pee on that stick, and there's one line instead of two, or no lines instead of one, or a FML, or whatever they put on those little sticks these days (Its been 8 years since I even saw one of those damn sticks), I won't be surprised. Because I know I'm not.

It won't be a surprise, because Im not. I know I'm not. So it shouldn't hurt that I'm not. It should just be a "There. I knew it." and thats it.

Then why does my heart already hurt?

I Heart Bins!!

2010-02-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

I'm unpacking and packing my house. I havent finished unpacking from our move 2 months ago when McHubby gets a call telling us to not be surprised if we move in June. So... I've got half an office unpacked, organized, and ready to have house guests. The other half of the office is cluttered with half empty boxes, a garbage bag full of stuff I forgot to dump before my move, and things everywhere.

So I'm repacking... getting things in order, trying to get the perfect balance of things we need, and things I dont want to repack a couple months from now.

I dont like packing in boxes. I dislike cardboard, because if you don't unpack right away, then you end up with boxes sitting around the garage, giving mice, bugs and who knows what else a chance to find a new home in your favorite slipper.

So this time around I'm packing in bins. Storage bins that I can fill, stack, and not worry about. But... Where do I get these bins?

I bought these great ones from Target for $5-6 each. Note the green and red? Yep!! They are my Christmas bins.

This is a bin full of toys from munchkin's room I got at Walmart on sale for $4, and now they are $10.

And these are the ones I have left over from my last move. Ones I have, wont have to pay for, but ones that dont necessarily hold things the way I need them to.

Anyone have any ideas where I can get some cheap bins? The planner in me is ithcing to get this over with...

just because

2010-02-19T06:38:00.000-08:00

There are about 8 posts running through my head. I can't seem to sit still long enuogh to get any of them down on paper. I'm planning on working on it tomorrow while McHubby sleeps. We'll see how that goes.

Phew!!

2010-02-15T08:42:00.000-08:00

I made it through the Valentines Weekend!! And it was awesome!!

McHubby took note of my blog requests, and made the weekend incredible. You already know about the doll house, but that wasn't all.

I got a Hallmark DVD card, which I loved because McHubby isn't the photo-montage-creating type, so it meant all the more.

There were balloons, flowers, a teddy bear, chocolates, sappy movies (OMG the Time Travellers Wife made me cry like a baby!) Twilight themed Candy hearts, and some ~~sexy time~~ bible study gifts.

It was all out Cupid's love den in our house, and it was incredible!!

However, the overload of chocolate has left me with a problem. (yeah, I couldn't spell delema, and couldn't find spellcheck... deal with it...) McHubby and I fast every year for lent... not the whole sun up to sun down thing, but all out fasting... 24/7, 40 days per year. We drink all natural fruit juices and water. and thats it. P.E.R.I.O.D.

(This is our supply for the next week. We'll see how long it lasts)

So all this chocolate I got? it has to be gone by 12AM Wednesday, or it has to sit for 40 days. I'm all for stuffing my face with chocolates for the greater good, but the problem is all that sugar in my bloodstream, the added caffine, it will all turn and flow that first fasting day and have me begging for food by breakfast time the first day. NOT ideal.

Do you think if I freeze it, The Eldest One will eat it all?

Valentines Day weekend is here!!

2010-02-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

Well, its officially Valentines Day weekend! McHubby and I suck at keeping surprises from each other. We get something we know the other will love, and we think we're going to burst if we don't get to see the look on the other one's face!!

So last night I gave McHubby the first of his Valentines Day gifts. A sea turtle!! (Don't worry, I'm not a nut ar who went out trolling off the coast of Florida or anything) Sea Turtles are McHubbies favorite ocean creature. So much so that I spent about an hour flirting with one at the Atlanta Aquarium trying to take the perfect picture of it!

I went to the Caribbean Conservation Corporation last night and adopted a Sea-Turtle.

Squirt!!

This is McHubbies turtle! She's an adult female loggerhead sea turtle encountered nesting on May 21, 2009, in the Archie Carr National Wildlife Refuge, Florida. She was named by her sponsor, Academy at Ocean Reef, and participated in the 2009 Tour de Turtles. She measures 107.5 cm in curved carapace (shell) length. We can even Follow her marathon migration. I think she's beautiful!! McHubby cried when I "gave her" to him. I think part of me felt, if I can't, right now, give you the baby we so badly want, I can give you THIS incredible life.

But I did say McHubby and I were BOTH horrible at keeping surprises, right?

We got home from dinner and he told me to go out of the bedroom for a minute. He called me back in, and there on the floor of the bedroom, was the most beautiful log cabin doll house I had ever seen!!

McHubby works at an Adult Rehabilitation Center. If you've ever seen a Salvation Army Family Store, My Hubby works at the center behind the scenes that benifits from the proceeds of the stores. There are guys on the program who have incredible skills, and at this particular center, they have a great wood working department that re-finishes tables, builds stuff for in house programs, and a number of other things. (Right now they are re-finishing my dining room table after Munchkin decided to carve a picture into the top of it using his breakfast spoon!)

Last week we were in talking about the table, and seeing what they could do about it. While McHubby was getting down to brass tacks, Munchkin and I were wandering around. We came across this beautiful doll house, and I couldn't take my eyes off it! It was incredible! I've ALWAYS wanted a doll house, and so they thrill me to begin with, but the craftmanship in this one was unbelieveable. And now here was that doll house, on my bedroom floor!

I love it! But I think what put me over the moon was when McHubby, with tears in his eyes said "Can Becky play with it?" I love this incredible gift that satisfied a longing I've had since childhood, and am uncontrollably thrilled to be able to share it with my daughter as she grows up!

Just when I think its impossible to love my husband, or our much awaited, yet to be created little girl any more then I already do...

Reality Check

2010-02-11T06:01:00.000-08:00

Its that time... time for me to sit down with my ovaries and ~~tell them to knock it off!~~ have a chat.

All this baby ache is driving my crazy, and will start to drive everyone around me crazy, if it already hasn't.

Being snowed in has caused my brain to turn a little fuzzy, and the result is my emotions are ALL over the place, in a one flew over the cookoo nest kind of way. Yesterday, I told the man I love, the man who cries with me over the disapointment of the "Wait, no babies yet" message we keep getting, that I was scared these future bundles of joy weren't a priority for him. I can't believe that would ever come out of my mouth, that I would ever hurt him in that way.

We laugh over the different ways we've planned to tell our families about the babies, when they happen. We cried one day in the car about our future daughters first break up. We argue about the clothes she'll wear, the toys our furture son will play with, and the TV they'll watch (NO purple and green bouncing idiots are allowed in my house!!) I know he loves these two as much as I do, I know his heart aches for them, to be able to hold them like mine does, but last night, snow swirling around me, I said I was scared he didn't. And this wonderful amazing guy? He wrapped my up in his arms, kissed me, and told me he loved me, even though it may have been one of the most hurtful things I could have said to him.

I follow this great blog called "Adopted Momma of Two". I started following her a couple months ago, when I thought adoption was going to be our only option. Reading her has really helped with questions I had, with knowing theres someone else out there who felt the way I do. Her post from yesterday was one of three she did that really hit home for me. In Sometimes I forget she said what my heart was feeling, and reminded me that the ache I feel is one I share with other women (and men) out there. That I'm not the only one who did this "There was a time I longed for a misbehaving child. I begged God for a crying, teething toddler. I prayed for sleepless nights spent caring for my children. I have been given exactly what I asked for. God answered my prayers."

In Why does it cost so much she got down to the nitty gritty of it that I needed to know, and needed to think about. Her adoptions cost $26,000. Thats a whole lot for a family just starting out together, just starting new jobs, and its something I need to think about.

When I read Not Being Pregnant I cried. I want to be past the stage where it hurts to be happy for my friends who are having babies. I want to be able to look at them in the eye and share in their joy, rather then half hearted congratulations while trying not to cry. My sister in law just had a baby. An amazing little blue bundle that I am TERRIFIED of being around. They are coming to town this weekend, and the thought of being with them, watching them as a family physically hurts. I want to be past that!! I want to smile, I want to say congratulations and mean it, but I don't know if I can.

McHubby and I have been through so much in life. SO much before we finally got to find our happiness. I know to expect everything from here on out to be easy is ridiculous, but we've done our time! We've done everything right, trying to please our families, our kids, our friends. Sacrificed. Delayed. Moved Mountains. Things are supposed to get easier now.

We have options. Things to think about. Adoption. Surgery. Sperm donors. Whats best for our family situation. What's Gods plan? Are we messing with it? Where do we go from here?

Man I hope this snow gets lost soon. I need fresh air and open spaces to clear my head... before I push everyone away.

Love Was NOT In The Air Yesterday....

2010-02-09T06:16:00.000-08:00

ok... so yesterday's post was a flop. I wanted to join in on the fun that is Travis,and a post that had my family in stitches had others... well.. not laughing.. lets go with that. Apparently not the best day for me to join roll call over at SITS. And thank goodness I have that little "email me" button over at the side, so it was so much easier fof my inbox to fill with hate mail. Let me just go on record as saying I am *not* a sicko who makes lightly of losing a child. As a mom who's uterus aches for more babies, who spots tattoo's that celebrate the gestational life of two miscarried little souls who touched my lives without ever being born, yesterday's post was not the insensitve "piece of garbage" that some apparently assumed it was. I changed that thing 5 darn times and still as I crawled into bed at 10:30 was getting comments on the fact that it was just that. Some of you may have missed the original post, which is fine, because it probably means there were actually a couple of you out there I didn't offend... but... today is a new day, and I'll hit on a new topic that CAN'T be all that bad!!

Valentines day!

I have had 1 good Valentines in my entire life! ONE... Out of 30!!!

Those are NOT good odds!

Last year McHubby and I had the fight to end all fights, and to almost end everything else!! It was, hands down, the WORST valentines day ever! (Please don't be sad McHubby!! I love you, and that was forever ago. But... I'm pretty sure you'd agree too... that was a BAD day!)

Usually as soon as I flip that calander over to February, I am transported to this Anti-Hallmark person who curses fabricated holidays, and grumbles everytime she see's a foil heart or little dancing baby with arrow.

THIS year... my heart aches for a great day. For a day with my husband that leaves me breathless (dirty minds!) and instills in me again the love of all things powdery and puffy.

Last night, while tending our farms on facebook, I told him I wanted an all out cheesey valentines and he looked up from the farm and said "On farmville?" I'm pretty sure me saying I wanted ANYTHING to do with valentines day threw him off. He knows that usually I curse the day to anyone who mentions it, and walk around like eeyore with a cloud over my head until the day passes.

So here's my dilema, and I bet its one you can all relate to on some level. I want big... sweet.. chocolatey... stuffed... mush!! BUT... I want it because McHubby wants to give it to me... not because I told him I want it. I want, when I said I wanted the cheesiest Valentines ever, for his wheels to start turning, for ideas to pop into his head that he can just run with. But... this being OUR first REAL valentines where the holiday hasn't been black listed.... How will he know what I mean? Don't get me wrong. McHubby is AMAZING at figuring out just the right way to make me happy, to make me smile. But this is new territory for us...

Do I tell him I want 1, 2, 3,.... Do I let him figure it out, and then be sad if it wasn't what I expected? Is there some happy medium?

Ugh!

I want these...

and enough of these...

So I can do this...

I want enough of these...

for my house to look like this...

and my ceiling to look like this...

Because its the first year I haven't wanted this....

**McHubby!! DO not Take the amounts literally... PLEASE!! Well... maybe the chocolate one... :P

Picture Memoir Monday

2010-02-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

**No kids were harmed in the making of this post. All 3 of my boys are healthy and happy, although the oldest, not so happy, and some serious brother on brother ass kicking followed!**

I'm taking part in Picture Memoir Monday, hosted by the soon-to-be-more-famouse-then-John-Bobbitt Travis over at I Like to Fish! If you DON"T know who Travis is, then you need to a) Give yourself a shake b) Turn on the Tyra Banks Show c)Check him out! If you like to laugh at inappropriate things , are willing to think about old folks having sexy time, and have always wondered about Lady GaGa's lady bits (man bits? in-between bits?) then go.. don't walk, RUN over to Travis, and he will nourish you with that Shizzle better then Mother's Milk... or... something... Anyways... Memoie Monday is when Travis usually shares something inappropriate with us about his earlier years, and we all pee a little. This week its PICTURE Memoir Monday, which... well... is self explanitory unless you're slightly on the special side.

OH!!! and one last thing!! Since I'm expecting a little more traffic linking up with ~~blog yoda~~ Travis, I'm putting in a shameless plug for myself. I'm in this contest, where I supply you a link to a freebies website (Where I've gotten ~~10's 100's,~~ 50's of stuff so far. When you click on the link, it counts as a point for me. Thats it... just a click, no signing up, no downloading, just a click... you can read about it in this post, or just click here to go to the site... come on... you know you wanna...

But.... Now!! On to Picture Memoir Monday!!

This picture represents the brotherly love our youngest and oldest son so frequently shared.

This picture is one I'd love to blow up for my oldest son to put in his room and remind him of the smile he always brought to his face. The joy our youngest took in sharing moments like this with his big brother.

Oh silly youngest, how foolish you were...

...

Snow bound with my thoughts...

2010-02-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

Laying on the couch today, Munchkin comes up, wraps his arms around my belly, pushes, and says "Becky! Sam! Come out NOW!!" Very cute!! but VERY heart wrenching at the same time, knowing that I don't know when they'll be a possibility. Being snowbound with my thoughts... or worse, my heart right now... is hard.

One little click... for me?

2010-02-01T14:47:00.000-08:00

I LOVE free samples!! I can't get enough of them!!

When I was a little girl, my friends and I would have sleep overs, and we'd call 1-800 numbers and try to get them to send us free samples. THATS how much I love them!! ~Ok... so it was also because I lived in a little town in Newfoundland called Dildo, and at 7, 8, 9 and 10, its pretty fun to hear people's reactions when you give them your mailing address ~

So... when I discovered "Its All Free Online" I thought I'd fill out a couple things, get a key chain if I was lucky, and that would be that... a fun way to get a couple cool things, and I'd get mail... another thing I LOVE.

THIS is a picture of the freebies I got in about a two week span. (The Save the Hooters bag was a blog contest win, but... you get the idea)

McHubby laughs at my excitement when the mail truck goes by every day, but I don't think he fully understands.

To look around our house, you'd find diapers, shampoo envelopes, splenda taster samples, and... well everything imaginable. All free and delivered to our door.

Munchkin has a little bit of trouble sitting still in church (and school, and the living room, and the Dr's and well... anywhere he's expected to sit still.) I ordered a case of colouring books free from a website given to me through Its All Free Online and now there's a stash of them in the car, in dad's office, in moms bag, pretty much anywhere you can think, to keep him occupied.

Posters, pens, hand cream, astroglide, books, keychains, cologne for the boys, food samples to add to a bland dinner, Everything everything EVERYTHING.

I think my favorite has to be the sample diapers. Having the No-Baby blues, or the Baby Aches, I am counting the days till I can have my own little bundle of joy. I've even started saving things I see that I want to pass on, or even buying little things I just can't pass up on... it's my way of staying sane when the hormones get a little too much. So in my garage there sits a box (soon to be marked Becky/Sam, and in that box, my first baby blanket, my grandmothers cream and sugar set, and a half dozen or so diapers). There are days, when I feel like my hormones have taken over and thrown my brain out the window, when getting out of bed seems like the biggest task I can face, I have a stash... a tiny little newborn diaper, complete with umbilical notch that I have in my closet. I take it out, and the almost feather light weight in my hand makes my heart soar.

Free Samples are good for ANYTHING!! Gift basket filler, stocking stuffers, prizes for games I even got all my wedding pictures printed free!! or just a great way to get to know your mail carrier!

So... the deal is, I get my own personalized link to tell you about Its All Free Online. When you click on it, it counts as a visit for me. Thats it... no signing up, no entering your personal info, just a visit credited to me... It looks like there's about 18-20 of us doing it right now, and if I win I get a $50.00 Amazon card. Which would be VERY cool!!!

So, in case I haven't linked it enought yet, you can click here, here or here.

You guys are awesome!!

My Thots for Today...

2010-01-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

BABY!!!

Pink! Soothers! Sleepless Nights! sparkley shoes! little dresses!! Braids!

Rebecca Melina Feener

Becky!!

BABY!!!

Blue! Dirty Diapers! Car Seats! Tummy Time! Giggles! Overalls!! High Chairs!

Samuel Cohen Feener

Sam!!

A day late, and a dollar short...

2010-01-26T04:57:00.000-08:00

Thats how I feel like I'm living right now... just out of reach of something wonderful...something huge... something life altering... and I think if I look long enough... that fuzzy "What-cha-ma-call-it" will come into focus and the haze will lift, and I'll be right on time.

But for now, the haze is showing up... even here... so my Tuesday post will be a "Not Me Monday" because the words... well.. the laptop... stayed just out of my reach last night until bedtime, and then... well it's cuddle time... not blogging time.

When I was surfing around yesterday, I followed link through link through link to find MckMama and her Not Me! Monday posts! I LOVED them... so... I thought I'd do one... Maybe recap the highlights of the week... so... here goes!

Last Sunday ( I know it's a while ago, but... I hold a grudge sometimes... ) when McHubby hung up the phone and announced that his ex wife asked him to tell me she said "Hi", I Did Not give the cordless phone the finger.... really!!! and then I Did Not sulk about it for a couple of hours, letting her get to me in that special way only she can.

Monday I Did Not pull extra covers from McHubby so he would wake up and cuddle into me in that way that I love, and don't know how I EVER lived without.

Munchkin Did Not lose 3 spelling books in ONE week, and I DID NOT go out and buy new ones each time so he wouldn't fall behind, only to have him find the 3 books on Friday.

On Thursday I Did Not go to work with McHubby and file his mountain of work for him, and "borrow" the office copy of Adobe Photoshop and another referrence program and install them on my laptop. (hee hee)

Friday McHubby Did Not work from home, and I Did Not turn into some selfish beast I'd never seen before because he had to actually do work.

Saturday I Did Not take the pooper on a 2 hour walk and a 3 hour car ride just because I felt guilty for not taking him for a walk in ... a LONG time.

Sunday morning I Did Not get upset when McHubby said he was going to talk to this person who seemed to be purposely going out of her way to be rude to me. AND I Did Not secretly love the fact that he saw it... that it wasn't in my head!!

Sunday afternoon I Did Not go see a highschool play just because I think McEldest lied about going to see it, and then we could ask him his favorite part, etc. I Did NOT obsess about all the little pink girls running around, I Did Not count the 26 little sparkley pink one's and think about them till my uterus ached.

Last night I Did Not lay on the couch for 3 hours watching mindless TV (Including 2 hours of wrestling) while there was a TON of stuff to do.

And this AM? Well this AM, I Will Not be late to take the Munchkin to school because I "had" to blog first, I Will Not obsess about the frying pan full of bacon grease I stuck in the cupboard when I found it in the stove last night, which McHubby put there so the dog wouldn't burn his tongue, I WILL NOT finally fold the 5 baskets of clean laundry waiting to be folded.

But most importantly I WILL NOT crawl back into bed, cuddle into McHubby's pillow and dream my day away.

God Bless Sally Hansen!

2010-01-19T15:47:00.000-08:00

I've got to admit, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about moving down here with y'all....

Not that I didn't want to be here. I'm with my family, and that is incredible. It's just that.... well... I'm a Canadian and we're just a different breed of people.

Our second "Bill or Rights" or "Charter of Freedom" states...

Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
(a) freedom of conscience and religion;
(b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
(c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and
(d) freedom of association.

Yours reads...

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

NOT that there's anything wrong with that... ( I just want to put it out there.. because I DON'T want to make it onto any watch lists.... )

In Canada, EVERYONE is entitled to access to free health care. GOOD free health care. Heart surgeries are performed, life saving surgeries done in the thousands per month. And none of it comes out of pocket. Yes, we eventually pay for it, because our tax dollars cover it, but there is never a moment when a mother when a sick child sits wondering which should happen... take this child to the hospital, or feed the other 3.

Here... it's different.

I am the first to admit that I don't know as much as I should about American politics. I am ignorant to a lot of its workings. But... I know its different... and I'm not sure in a good way.

But there are other things that are different... less heavy subjects. Like...

There's no Tim Hortons here... and as much as you may not know what you're missing... it's like heaven would be if it were in a coffee shop.

Swiss Chalet how I miss you. I don't know if there's anything here to even begin to compare it to... Boston Market according to McHubby.

Shoppers Drug Mart - Walgreens, CVS, with a little bit of target thrown in for good measure. Walking into its doors was like embracing an old friend. How I miss those warm friendly hugs, and those Optimum points.

Hockey, how I miss you. I can watch it here, but... there's none of my favorite announcers, and aside from McHubby, no one to talk to about it. All I hear is Football this.. Football that. I don't know 1st quarter 4th down for a hole in the wall.

But even though there are these things that are different, and different for me doesn't always equal good, there are things that I never knew till I came here, and I have to say, my life is better for it...

Sally Hansen, how brilliant you are!! (Even if I had the idea LONG before this!) When I was in highschool, I used white out pens to draw on my nails. I always thought I was ahead of my time.. I love these, and already own 5!!

Meet Welches Grape Jelly....

Why did no one tell me such a thing exsisted?? It comes out like ketchup!!! We've made sammy after sammy with this already!!! I LOVE it, and can't wait to see if they have more kinds when we grocery shop next!!

I <3 American Products!!

I promise...

2010-01-15T04:19:00.000-08:00

Wow... I think I hit the top of the emotional scale last night... or... the bottom... whatever the worst would be, that was me!!! I think my body has started to prepare itself for little Miss Princess (Or His Royal Highness) because I am the emotional equivalent of a 22 month pregnant elephant! Add into that a little PMS, and I'm surprised McHubby came home from work last night without full protective gear!

McHubby and I, we were occasional extended weekend guests at his abode (thats the fancy way to say we shacked up for a bit) so we're not strangers to living with each other. Most people I know say their biggest adjustment after getting married, was getting used to the other person always being there. We THRIVE on that. Knowing at the end of a day here by myself, he'll come home, we'll spend time together and then fall asleep in each others arms, thats what keeps me going! I LOVE his always being here!! and I'd like to think he loves that I am here too!

But anyemo... We're kind of going through this stage... I think about him... a lot... and I try to make things easier for him, because I know he's working 10 hour days, and that when he gets home he's exhausted! I, on the other hand, am here all day. Watching HDBravo, and getting involved in more reality shows then I even knew existed!! So... when it comes to getting things done around the house, I like to try and get it done before he comes home so that a) He can relax and not have to help me and b) so that its not time we could be spent chatting together or something that we're out doing other things like I'm vacuuming while he's changing light bulbs.

But.. inevitably, something will happen. The dog will grab something while I'm not paying attention, or the Real Housewives of Orange County will have a meltdown, and something I planned to get done doesn't get done. And I feel bad. So when McHubby comes home, I hug him and usually end up saying something like "I forgot to make the bed!! I'm sorry!" Because I've been here all day... eating Mac and Cheese out of the pot, and I could have had it done, and then he wouldn't have to... and I feel guilty.

So last night, after apology number who-knows, and emotional crying fit number 30-infinity, McHubby and I lay it out. My apologizing makes him feel bad, like that he's some mean task-master and I am trying to get everything done FOR him. He likes helping around the house, and he hates it when I run around doing stuff and leave him with nothing to do but sit there. I NEVER looked at it that way!! and when I tell him sorry? It makes him feel worse!! I get it!! I really do!! And I Promised him I'd work on it.

But I said WE were going through this stage. What is his stage? He's worried that I wont be happy here. That I'll resent moving, that I'll be bored in the house all day, or bored when he gets home to tired to do anything.

What he doesn't know is that I LOVE being here. I don't know anyone, I don't drive, and don't know the transit system, I don't have a job, or money, but I wake up every morning with my husband. I help get our kids off to school, and I putter around the house, cleaning up after the kids, and getting stuff done around the house. I LOVE cleaning up the dining room table after we've played cards, because it's something we've done together as a family. That I love tracking down the Xbox controllers, because I loved watching out kids play together the night before.

What he doesn't realize, is being here, with him, is exactly what I've wanted for half my lifetime! That being here makes me happier then I've ever been, or that my saddest moment here, I'm still happier then I've ever been.

What he doesn't realize is how incredible, loving, funny, smart, cute, caring, adorable he is! and how happy he makes me EVERY single day with just a smile, a touch or a kiss.

So... to avoid another emo-incident like last night, I promise the following to myself! (and to McHubby when he reads this)

I promise to not spend my day sitting in our bedroom, but to go out and spend time in the rest of the house, like the living room.

I promise to leave the kitchen floor till McHubby comes home, because it REALLY is a job I hate!

I promise to shower rather then watch that last episode of launch my line (that's why they invented TiVo, right?)

I promise to NOT clean the kids rooms today. It's ok for them to have rooms that look... like normal kids rooms.

I promise NOT to change the lightbulbs.

and...

I promise not to bore you guys with any more long posts! :P

Please stop the hormones!!

2010-01-14T03:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr Storke,

I've unpacked the guest room! It's nice, neat, warm and cozy. I would love it if in your travels, you'd stop by. Just for a night or two. That's all... just long enough. I promise to make your favorite meal... whatever that might be... and not even screw up my face when you eat it. I thought you and I understood each other when we met the other day at the zoo. You remember... I was the crazy lady, talking to you for what seemed like forever, and you were the bird... ignoring me?

Dear Santa,

I know I asked for this Christmas time, but you were busy, and I understand how things can get left off the sleigh when it gets down to crunch time. Maybe it was too cold for her on your sleigh, so you thought later might be better. I can totally understand that! Did I mention it'll be as warm as 9 on Friday? I think that's perfectly acceptable weather for my rain check!
P.S... About that kid that wants a hippopotamus for Christmas... I think he's being completely irresponsible about it, and that I should get MY wish first!!

Dear Easter Bunny,

Thank you for last years chocolate supply. I really appreciated it, especially during those "darker" months. On Max and Ruby, you leave them a Gold chicken. Munchkin has been known to receive a gift or two at the end of an Easter egg hunt. So... if its not too much trouble, one fuzzy soft pink egg would be MORE then appreciated.... but if you don't have pink, blue will be just incredible!

Dear Sperm Fairy,

I know we've got some hurdles to get over, but it's nothing you haven't been able to accomplish before!! I'm not asking for a lot here, just a few measly super swimmers to get on the move! You work your magic all over the world millions of times over... all I need is 1... well... 1 now and 1 later... Come ON!!

Dear God,

I know over the last year I've asked a lot from you! I've tried to make deals, promises, bargains, and you kept telling me to be patient. I know I looked at the clock, tapped my fingers, stomped my feet and screamed "NOW!" and you hugged me and said "not yet". I know our priorities aren't always the same. I know you're interested in preparing me... and I'm interested in the here and now. I KNOW that your timing and my timing are different. So I'm not going to ask you like I did the others. At least not for that. If now is my time, my chance, my turn, then YAY! Wow! Awesome! But if its not, I'm going to need a lot of help because it's all I think about. It's the pretty much the only thing I dream about. And I know McHubby loves me with all his heart, but I think when I'm ready to cry at the opening sequence of The Simpsons just because they show an egg getting fertilized, that McHubby MIGHT get a worn with all the crying and pouting and sad. So if its not now, not for a long time, I'm going to need your help, because right now I don't even want to get out of bed to face the day(s).

uck!

2010-01-03T17:11:00.000-08:00

The UCK has hit my house too!! Munchkin and I had to leave church this AM after the first song, and lucky we did because we almost didn't make it to the nearest trash can!

He's feeling better right now, but school registration is tomorrow AM, so we'll see how that goes over. Thankfully it sounds like he'll just be in for registration, and then starting on Tuesday, so I still get a chance to learn the route, and get over whatever is hitting both of us!

Can I just ask you, all my American friends, why you never mentioned the marvelous wonder that is Therma Flu? I took it this AM after church, and it was like drinking some pretty strong ~~booze~~ punch. My body got warm and tingly, and the room started to do this fuzzy slow motion thing when I turned my head, and within minutes, I was out cold!! I woke up feeling 10000% better, except the Stomach portion of this UCK is lingering. The good news is that the whole "loose a person" I committed to doing this year may happen a whole lot quicker if the UCK stays another day.

Speaking of, I stepped on the scale yesterday. I'm a whole lot closer to a number I NEVER thought I'd be in my LIFE, and it scared the diet into me! Bad news, I'm an emotional eater, and my family is facing a WHOLE pile of emotion as McEldest prepares to move back "Home".

Pray that everything goes well for Munchkin tomorrow, and that things become clearer for McEldest, and for all of us as a family as life curve ball #9 hits.

I'm off to make McOfficiallyHubby watch his 5th episode of Bridezilla. I figure if he sees all the craziness these women channel, my antics wont seem so bad :P

I promise to drop by and comment on everyone soon. I know I've been a bad bad commenter, but life is slowly starting to get into a routine here.

Thots for a New Year

2010-01-02T18:23:00.000-08:00

Wedding!!

2009-12-28T11:58:00.000-08:00

Shhh!!!

2009-12-18T08:06:00.001-08:00

I'm loading the Uhaul!

No really... I am!

I know yu think I'm sitting here blogging... but that would be wrong after sending McHubby and The Eldest downtown to get his divorce certificate, and our marriage license. How insensitive would it be of me, after McHubby battled with The Eldest about getting up (at-God forbid- 9:30) and bribing him with coffee, of me to grab my laptop and sneak into the bathroom to blog??

Wrong wrong wrong I tell you!!

So thats why Im not doing it. So today you'll miss out on hearing things like that its 23 hours and 55 min till the wedding! or that while loading the uHaul, I climbed my ~~fat~~ anxious ass up into it and tipped the damn thing over, spilling boxes into my driveway...

So that you know... I'm not blogging, but I just heard something outside, so now I have to stash the laptop under the sink and make it look like it was just a regular potty break.

:)

All I want for Christmas is a big fat list!

2009-12-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not a New Years resolution person. I think making a resolution for myself is just setting up for failure. You come out of the gate like a race horse on New Years day, and by Jan 31st, I'm hurtin'!

So I'm not making resolutions this year.

I'm making lists.

Things I'd like to have done, but.. not a MUST... so.. its like a relaxed suggestion
(YES! there ARE differences between lists and resolutions! I swear!!)
~~SHUT UP!~~

So whats on my list for this year?

* Loose a person. I am the weight of two healthy individuals trapped in one unhealthy body. NOT cool! McHubby has picked my up a treadmill, we've now got an eliptical, and a boxing bag. I'm doing the cooking, the shopping, and the menu planning, so no more excuses!!

* my 30G's of pictures. I love them, and they're organized into pretty little folders, but... a folder maked Hayden, for 7 years of pictures, still makes things hard to find. I'd like to have them organized, AND I'd like a CD with them on.. well... LOTS of CD's to cover the 30G.

* I'm going to start the 52 week challenge in January. Don't know what that is? Check here...

*Teach Bernie 3 new tricks... Which ones? I don't know. He's got a cuple down. Sit, lay down, paw, high 5, turn around, touch, quiet, Baby (which means get his toy), and Who's baby are you? (Where he licks my nose when I ask him). We're working on Wave at the moment... but its going slow...

*To save enough money to go see The Middle One this summer. And once that is spent, to save enough to start the baby making process, because I NEED me some baby! (I've gone from the staring at every baby going "awwww" stage, to not being able to look at one without bursting into tears. Time to get a move on this plan, I think.

~~~And can I just add, that I know I've been a horrible SITSter, and NOT sharing the comment love as much. I am so sorry. I catch your comments on the fly, and am loving them. I'm reading your blogs, but am so far behind at the moment that I'm literally reading blog after blog, and making my mental notes to comment when the chaos has settled. I PROMISE!

Random Is as Random Does

2009-12-15T04:25:00.000-08:00

So somehow it doesn't sound as good as Stupid is as stupid does when my friend Forrest said it.

But you get the idea.

If you were to walk around my house you'd fine ~~too many~~ some boxes not closed. They are my ~~crap~~ odds and ends boxes. Little random things I figured I'd need before the move, I kept out. Now I'm on round 3 of the packing, and I've got 1 box in each room that random ~~junk~~ things can be tossed into. This hurts my little OCD heart. It means that unpacking will be ~~normal~~ messy and unorganized.

Todays post will be the same. ~~Typical for my scttered little brain~~ Random. I've got a bunch of things, none long enough for a post but too long for post it note Tuesday. So here goes...

Dear Woman by the Park with the ~~bitchy~~ unpleasent Spaniel,
It must be convenient to live so close to the park. To just let your dog run around while you're inside drinking, napping, whatever it is that keeps you from your dog. It must be great to never have to pick up doggy do because my son carries it home n his boot each day after school, and it must be WONDERFUL to know that because your dog is small, it doesn't pose a threat to anyone. If my son steps in your dogs crap one more time I'm going to wipe it off on your lovely straw mat you keep outside your front door. If your dog attempts to attack my 110lbs dog ONE more time, be warned that I will kick her to defend my dog if it comes down to it.

Dear Eldest,
You were born into what some would say are some privillaged catagories. You're male, Caucasian, Born to a 2 parent family, living in a country where, sadly, as much as we're trying to change it, THOSE things are important. You weren't abused as a child, you weren't abandoned as a baby at a fire hall, or left behind in school. You have a mom, dad, step mom, brother, step brother, 3 sets of grandparents, and assorted uncles, aunts and cousins who all love you. So PULL UP YOUR PANTS, DON'T suck your teeth at people, put your baseball hat on right, and pull the eminem CD out of your butt. "YO" is not an accepted response in an argument, and its annoying as heck! You feel me San? (I love you! :P )

Dear Super Mom,
I know we've had our differences, you thinking my youngest son is a troublemaker and a liar, my thinking your a meddeling ~~bitch~~ bitch who's son is going to call his 6th grade teacher mommy, because you've not let him spread his wings on his own, but making sure you're EXTRA nice to my kid, chasing him down just to say hi, isn't going to make up for the SLANDER you spread against him in the playground. When a 7 year old can say "Not to be rude or anything but that lady is a suck up!" it's going a little to far.

Dear Random Internet Readers I seek advice from,
Hayden tried on his tux yesterday and said "Can I wear this every day? I look like Edward. But I'm still team Jacob, Momma." Should I be worried??

Dear George Clooney,
HELLO!!! (You never know... he might stumble across this blog sometime).

OCD strikes again!

2009-12-14T10:32:00.000-08:00

5 days people!! 5 days!!

So in the interest of packing and getting everything done to not rush... I'm sitting on my bed watching movies. Somehow the boxes DON'T seem to be packing themselves, which leads me to believe that all the fairytales I read as a child were ~~full of it~~ misleading. No Cobler elves to put the soles on shoes, no mice working at all hours to get my dress for the ball ready, and certainly not any dancing singing dishes jumping into their own boxes.

What a load of ~~crap~~ false advertising.

So... while the "holding area" for the boxes looks like this...

The dresser in my room looks like this.

What exactly IS this? These are my bags... 4 of them... the first is the "Wedding Bag", hair straightner, corset, make up bag, etc.

Next in the back is my "Documents" bag, so that when we hit the border, and need to get my visa, Voila! All in this handy dandy bag.

The small blue and grey on is Hayden's car bag. In it, some toys, his DS, iPod, Pokemon cards, and Books.

The pink one is MY car bag, with everything I think we might need while driving... meds, wallet, toiletries etc.

The small one at the end? It's my "Animal car bag" treats for Bern to get him in and out of the car, poop bags, flashlight, food for the hamsters, water bottle....

Each one has a list attached to it that I check off when things are added to it.

The U-haul might take forever to fill because things are scattered, but the van... IT will be organized.

Dear former hotness that was me!

2009-12-12T05:35:00.000-08:00

My SITSter, Chocolate Covered Daydreams has a pretty great contest going on to win a wii fit plus. After the holiday season, who COULDN'T stand to get in shape, and I could use ALL the help I can get, since I'll be unpacking from the move, and sulking about how fat I looked in my wedding dress. So I for one know this is a GREAT thing for me to win. So I'm going to try my hardest. Click here, and you'll fine the rules for winning a wii fit plus. Click here and you'll be sent to e-bay, where you can attempt to buy one. Given my anorexic pocket book this Christmas season, I'll take the challenge, and write my letter.

Dearr Former Hotness that Was Me, grade 9.

(Thats just a little name game we play. I call her Former hotness that was me, she calls me ~~fat ass~~ Put That Donut Down Future Me!)

What were you thinking letting your friend cut your bangs?!?! The week before picture day?!? Don't worry... it grows back, and you'll only be mocked about it for... um... about 2 years.

You know that chick who sits across from you in morning class? Right now, she hates you. But hang in there, because once you buy new shoes, she'll soften up, and by the time you're thirty, she'll still be your best friend. Oh... and speaking of that. Contrary to what you thought, you're NOT wearing Depends at 30, and have only had ONE peeing your pants accident. (althought you should practice doing kegals now, because once you've pushed a missile out of your vagina, those will REALLY come in handy for coughing, sneezing, or any trampoline jumping you may plan on doing)

Be nicer to that boy (Mountain Boy) who sits behind you in society challenge and change class. A year from now he's going to save your life from a psycho stalker in your school, and support you the whole way through the trial. So what he has ducktape holding his shoes together, and purposly cuts straight lines in his jeans and everyone calls him garbage boy? He's actually a pretty decent kid, and you end up shattering his heat in a million pieces first year of college, so... be nice to him now to make up for it.

Get out there and do stuff. Go to a couple parties. Hang out with people. Because when you grow up, you'll want to look at these days as great moments. (and no.you wont be grown up when you turn 17!) However, here area a couple of things that when you get older, you'll wish you hadn't done. DONT accept a ride from the creepy guy who pulls up at the bus station and offers to drive you to work. Don't walk down that dark alley downtown at midnight, when every bone in your body is telling you to run away from the creep you're with, and... well... just listen to that little voice. You're a pretty smart ~~kid~~ (I'm sorry!!! WOMAN) and you know whats on the level and whats not.

I know this is getting long, and your attention span is only as long as one episode of 90210, but just a couple more things.

You know the guy? THE guy? McCute Older guy? The one you spend all your time daydreaming about, trying to find reasons to hang out with, and the one who's lap you like to sit on during youth group meetings when there are no seats left? (btw, nice move!) Hang in there. Because 16 years from now, he's going to ask you to marry him, and make you the happiest girl out there. Oh and while you're at McCute Older guy's house, babysitting his cute adorable little baby boy, snap a pic of him in the bath, or on the toilet, because 16 years from now, when you tell him to clean his room and he says "Mom I don't want to!", that pic will SO come in handy!

So... keep on doing most of what you're doing now. And have fun, because things change when your an adult. You still have fun, but its WAY different. Yes that zit will go away, no Andrew not talking to you ISNT the end of the world, and you're NOT going to die if you don't get your 3rd eaar piercing. (But you DO need new shoes, Bullets just aren't cutting it!)

Ta-Ta!

? any blogger Wiz people out there?

2009-12-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

I want to add a second header to my blog, like a lot of you have. One that will link to different pages.. like an "about me" one, a photo one... I dont know how to explain it even, but if you've been to Mad Boastings of a Cheapskate Mom or A Nut in a Nutshell, thats the idea.

I have the HTML code to make it, just dont know how to make it all come together with a picture background.

Any ideas?

Happy Ho-Ho!

2009-12-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

I wont get to my new house, until sometime in the wee hours of Dec 20th. We're going to ~~TRY to~~ get some sleep (Sorry McHubby. I MAY need to unpack a few boxes when we get there)

Then its off to a Christmas party at McHubby's work, and then Monday we have to register Munchkin for school.

Then its 4 days till Christmas. That REALLY doesn't leave a whole lot of time for decorating.. especially when we're not done Christmas Shopping on top of it.

SO keep your fingers crossed that we can get everything done. In the mean time, let me show you our holiday decorating at my moms house.

These two smiley faces will greet you with warm wishes :)

My mom's tree this year is red and gold. Here's our tree topper.

Decorations, Decorations, Decorations.

Instead of those bushy tinsle garland things, my mom uses beads. With the red and gold tree, we alternate coloured strands.

Red balls

Gold balls.

I hear the bells on Christmas day.

Deck the halls.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches.

O little town of Bethlehem.

Angels we have heard on high, sweetly singing ore the plains.

See Him in a manger laid, whom the choirs of Angels praise.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-09T07:28:00.001-08:00

Merry SITSmas one and all!!

2009-12-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

Its almost here!! The excitement, the presents, the thrill of waking up that morning and feeling like ANYTHING was possible.

I hope there's snow. Snow will make it perfect... MmM... and good food! That would be wonderful!

The Camera will get a good work out, there will be goofy smiles, happy grins, and hopefully no tears.

I took the dog out last night and there was smoke from a fire place in the air. It was dreamy. I want THAT too!

I can't believe its so close. The boys are excited! McHubby is OVER the moon. only 10 days left till the wedding.

Oh..... did you think I was talking about Christmas? We're excited about that too...

Wishing you and yours a happy holidays filled with blessings, memories, and LOTS of good food!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Oh.. and if you're new, feel free to look around a bit! :)

Determined to Blog

2009-12-06T05:04:00.001-08:00

Since I'm having issues with the blog follow through, here's what I'm doing today. I've got two windows open, and as the thoughts flow while I'm reading other people's Blogs, they are going down!! I'll link the blogs that inspired the thoughts, and hopefully if you haven't before, you'll check them out :)

First... gotta love The Sunday McLinky Addition over at Look What Mom Found...and Dad Too. With the wedding and the move, our bank account is praying we choose NOT to celebrate Christmas. With 3 kids, that's not really an option, so S.M.A lets me enter a whole bunch of contests and the laws of averages says I have to win SOME... right????

"You made me bleed my own blood". My favorite Ben Stiller line ever!! Well Travis over at I Like To Fish... He made me cry my own tears!! you have to read today's post, it is SO touching. And once you've read it, compare that sweet little girl with my 7 year old Munchkin. Last night I told him his important job during the wedding was to walk me down the aisle. His response? "How much you gonna pay me?" Oh.. and if you haven't, PLEASE read his TMI Thursday posts... ALL of them!!! Seriously!! You will pee you pants guaranteed or your money back.

Fred at One Bark at a time, works for our local Animal Services Agency. You'll find most of his post are about the animals we have here in Toronto, but if your ANY kind of an animal lover, you will love his blog. My two favorite series' he's working on right now are about the Toronto Humane Society (Please Please read these. Although the scandal/investigation is locally based, it raises some important questions, AND... the word NEEDS to get out!!!) and the vacation he just took and spent at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah, where he met Lucas, one of "The Vick Dogs".

(oh... and speaking of ~~Micheal Vick~~ The Dog Killer, you should check out BAD RAP's blog. They are the agency that stepped in and helped save the animals that ~~Micheal Vick~~ The Dog Killer was brutalizing and murdering on his estate. One of my favorite posts?

Out In Iowa, and Back Home in Oakland. Why? Because if you scroll to the bottom of this post, you'll see a piece about the "Dog Fighter Go Home" banner that Bad Rap had flown over the Oakland Coliseum, and the clash of animal lovers Vs. Sports fans when ~~Micheal Vick~~ The Dog Killer was in town for a game. Go Bad Rap!!

Your other option when it comes to Vick Dogs is the Vick Dog Blogs where you can read about their days, learning that the world isn't such a scary place, and see some GREAT pics of these lovable pups that were deemed killers, and that PETA wanted destroyed. Thank Goodness BAD RAP, BFAS, and others stepped up to the plate.)

That's my morning reading. I've ignored Munchkins Pleas for Breakfast long enough. Time to get him some chow.

Those last couple blogs have me aching for a "Berner Hug" from Bernie, my BMD... so here's a virtual hug from my monster of a dog to you.

UGH!!!!

2009-12-05T07:03:00.000-08:00

I 've got nothing!!!! I have 6 posts saved as drafts, but I can't get any of them out and finished enough to post... I hate it!!

So... The blog-itis continues...

So I'll try a wordless Saturday. Maybe getting my thoughts on photo paper will help.

Help Help me Rhonda...

2009-12-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

OK so I don't really want help from someone named Rhonda... or not JUST Rhonda.

We've finally booked our photographer... Being the PHoTo taker that I am, THIS was a hard call. I am THE person at EVERY event with my camera. Snapping away at those moments that others always think.. wow... if only I had my camera. That's me!!! I've got mine!! :D

So... we've got someone who we love, because she took our last batch. She's a friend of mine... I actually used to be her boss :P So... when those picture ideas come up that make you think "I don't really like that idea" I've got no problem with telling her. And she with me, with my crazy ideas, I can expect a "No Sharon, that's dumb" LOL.

So now comes an even tougher part. WHAT pictures do I want?

If you're anything like me, along your facebook/photo bucket/blog travels, you see pictures that make you think "Hmm.. I wish I had a picture like that".

What are those pictures for you? The treasured ones that you could look at for hours? or the ones you see and think DARN I wish I had thought of that?

I've used it before, but here is one of my FAVORITE wedding pictures I've seen... too bad Niagara falls will be too cold for this one...

I miss my friend...

2009-12-03T17:34:00.000-08:00

16 days till D-Day... or... W-day!! I'm pretty excited. Looks like tonight we finally found a friend to do our wedding pictures. The wedding itself is going to cost us $429.00. We've got some great friends who have agreed to help us out in so many ways. I know its something I haven't talked about in ~~the last few minutes~~ a while so

Let me lay it out for you...

Wedding ceremony... "The Storybook I do"
(Our entry level package with one hour of Chapel time, consultation with the Officiant, Personalized Keepsake Booklet, a Wedding Certificate suitable for framing, and CD music [or you may bring your own CD])

Flowers.... My Maid of Honour said she wanted to buy these for me... which is amazing. It includes my bouquet, her bouquet, and the Flowers for the boys suits.

My friend Milica has agreed to take our photos of the day. She took our pics a few months back when Shel came for a visit.

One of my friends is doing my hair and makeup. She's taking a room next to where we're getting married. So we're kinda stealing her room as wedding central.

I'm making my cake.

My folks are having a little dinner when we get back, and then we'll be on our way to the wild blue yonder.

Sounds perfect...

Except 2 VERY important people are going to be missing.

The Middle Son can't make it over this year, so he wont be there... which blows to the Nth degree.

and my best friend for the last 8 years. We had a fight, something that I think we could have/ should have fixed in the last two years. Everyone involved in the wedding has spent time together with us. and it feels so strange to be doing this without her.

It's been two years... and it hurts... and I'm sad.

To cheer up, I'm going back to re-read my engagement post...

The Cat's out of the Bag... or...

2009-11-27T04:57:00.001-08:00

The SECRET is Out of The States!

McHubby and the Elder one came to Canada for Thanksgiving weekend!!

He didn't think he'd be able to make it at first, so he told me he wasn't coming. But then he talked to his boss, who said... GO!! So he was planning on surprising me, but I cried the other night telling him I thought he was coming but that I wasn't sure, and how devastated I would be if he wasn't when I was convinced he was. He's good... he still wasn't going to tell me. But then I played my ace card...

I am an "I'm fine" "nothings wrong" girl. If something is bothering me that I think is better if I handle on my own, I'll try it... and when McHubby asks what's wrong, he'll get a "nothings wrong baby". But there's an exception. McHubby will then say "Promise?" and with that one word, those 7 letters, I'm stuck. Promises are pretty serious business for us... in fact THE biggest. 16 years worth of promises will do that to you.

So... when I said to McHubby "Promise me your not coming?" and he responds with something OTHER then the word promise, I knew!!

We decided not to tell the Munchkin. At least someone needed to be surprised. So Wednesday at noon, after school let out for the day, McHubby and The Eldest jumped in the car and started cruising along. OR that was the plan.

We emailed each other throughout the day, talking about the trip, the much needed bonding of the two travellers, and the surprise for Munchkin. Around 6:30, I said to McHubby "What's your ETA, I still have some stuff to do."

"hmm... 11:30pm. Sorry its so late Baby."

"I don't care, I'll get to see you! I plan on putting Munchkin to bed, and then jump in the shower and clean the bathroom."

"Cool... yeah... 11:30"

and then for some reason I say "I need to know. Because I'd be SO upset if you showed up here and I didn't have those things done"

"Oh... hmm... well, maybe 10."

How can you just shave an hour off travel like that?

"Baby... what time!"

"Um.... 10... yeah... 10... but maybe you should get in the shower now, just in case."

"McHUBBY!!"

"Um... maybe 9?"

"Tell me where you are right now?!?"

"Hamilton" (1.5 Hours from my house!!)

Me at that point "B*A*D**W*O*R*D*S!!!"

so surprise #2 was ruined too, but it was ok...

They got here, and The Eldest walked into Munchkin's room to say Good Night.

Priceless!

They're here till Sunday afternoon. I am going to miss them like the end of the world when they're gone. But WOW it's so great for all of us to lay on the bed and watch a movie!! And the Pooch LOVES having them here.

Hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving!! I know a lot of you have done "Thankful" posts. I'll post pictures of MY thankful weekend soon.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step...

2009-11-25T14:21:00.000-08:00

I'm going to say something I don't often say. In fact, McHubby could probably vouch for me that he's only heard what I'm about to say... maybe once or twice in the 15 years we've known each other.

*deep breath* I... need help.

Back in the day, back when McHubby and I were ~~living in sin~~ occasional roommates, (thanks to Mama B for the awesome phrase I plan to ~~steal~~ use over and over) we were both working. Money was and will always be an issue, but as far as groceries were concerned... it wasn't one we were too worried about at the time. (Cant buy me love, and all that ~~crap~~ sentiment, right?) Before that, I was living on my own, Pre-Munchkin, working a SWEET paying job, and practicing the old Binge and Purge, so again... groceries were NOT a priority.

In 24 days, I'm getting married (what? you didn't know?? What rock have YOU been living under?? It's called an archive... check it out :P) McHubby and I have already talked about it, and you know what I'll be doing in 25 days? (Yeah yeah, get your minds out of the gutter!! That too, but Sexy Time is NOT where this post is going) In 25 days, I'll be hitting the grocery store. Buying and planning meals for the boys, McHubby and I.

I'm a little freaked out by it!! I want to get the best bang for our ~~poop~~ buck. I want to have GREAT meals that fill their tummies with loving goodness, but... I don't want to go broke while doing it. Missy over at Are you there God - it's me, did a post today on the stuff she bought, and how much she saved doing it. It's All Free Online has a great contest going for a coupon organizer. Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom has some awesome suggestions on meatless meals (great for me as a the only vegetarian in the family. Ugh! compromise.) and how they save you money but... Its all floating around out there. How do I capture it and make it work for my family?

I've never used a coupon in my life. I don't know how it works... is it just one per product? or one per whole grocery bill? Here in the frosty white north, twice a week, someone drops a bunch of flyer's at my house, and my parents go through it to see where the best deals are to buy groceries. Do they have the same kind of thing in the states? In VA?

Here we have "degrees" of grocery stores. There's the cheap cheap one, then a middle one (or two) and then the high end grocery store. And some of them are chains found all across the country. Is it the same there? Are there good days to go? sale days?

I know people use coupon websites, but... where?how?

Obviously I should have some sort of menu idea before I hit the stores, but... should it be a week long menu? some people plan month long menu's? I have no idea....

I'm in WAY over my head here...

I figure if I can approach it the same way I approach ANY kind of shopping, I should be fine. My kids however... they may need to stay home for this one.

Please please please tell me your shopping secrets. How do you do it? Where do you shop? Where do you get your coupons? TEACH ME!!!! P-L-E-A-S-E??????????????

Munchkin was NOT impressed with the wait for me to finish shopping one afternoon, so he decided to make himself comfortable.

disjointed disclosure... (Hey look! finally a fancy title!)

2009-11-23T20:36:00.001-08:00

I wanted my 100th post to be a real zinger! Something to celebrate the essence of the blog. I've put off posting because I've wanted to get the words exactly right. But they have failed me. Real life caught up to me and I've been busy trying to ~~ignore~~ deal with it that the 100th celebration just didn't pan out.

Speaking of real life... It's crazy these days!!

1 day till my "surprise" from McHubby. I just have to get through today. That's it. I still can't blog about what the surprise is, but I'm bursting at the seams here! (AND the surprise is killing me too :P) Said surprise will leave me with little time for blogging over the next few days, which is why I want to get this 100th one done today.

On a completely ~~related~~ unrelated topic, I need to get my house clean. NOW! Today! NO way around it. It's surprise related. and because I NEED to... let me tell you every other procrastinating thought going on in my head right now.

25 days till the wedding! My best friend from high school is loaning me her dress, and I LOVE her for it! She's the only one who's been there for EVERY mess up I've ever had, and I'm so happy she gets to be there for one of the things I plan to do right! (plus its really funny because when we were in grade 9, she used to call McHubby a dirty old man whenever she caught him lusting after the hotness that was teenage me).

Amanda and I in high school! Yep! We went out and got our matching jacket pictures taken at walmart :P This is the year we got the schools manager of the year award for managing the boys hockey team... AND the year that I walked into the dressing room to fill water bottles and saw my first real life naked boy (and crush at the time) walking out of the shower... OOPS! ;) Poor guy, I don't think we were ever able to look each other in the eye again without giggling. But I did not take kindly to the whole, you saw mine, I should get to see yours suggestion OR the suggestion that My boyfriend should get to see his Girlfriend!

But thats a whole OTHER blog post.

The teenage hotness that was me :P As you can see, the idea for the Cullen's pail vampire skin was from THIS prom picture. and no... thats not the "Pervy" McHubby. Its just the pervy classmate.

My brother showed up at the house yesterday with a wedding dress. My Sister in Law got it from freecycle (the bestest sight ever, as long as you have a car... which I don't). Its the "fall back" dress in case we need extra material for the other dress to fit. I tried it on, and its lacy and bead-y and... well... a wedding dress. After the first minor panic attack trying it on, I put it on a second time to show my dad when he got home from work. McHubby called just as the fashion show was starting, and we had a long distance family crisis. (Which I'm afraid I didn't help with too much because I was too busy laughing and saying "What an idiot" regarding the Eldest, in the most loving way possible (sorry baby. I know I should have been more supportive). So when McHubby said he was close to tears, I had to tell him that I'd been sitting there talking to him for 25 min, wearing this wedding dress. At least he laughed for a minute. (My sister in law Krystyne, modeling the freecycle wedding ~~doylie~~ dress.)

My dog is a chewer. NOTHING in the house is sacred, and if I were honest with myself, part of the reason I LOVED my job at the vets was because of the huge discount I got on vet services, because I knew that EVENTUALLY we'd have to have surgery to remove a ~~sock glove pop bottle plastic bag heel of my FAVORITE pair of MILF boots *tear* facecloth Superman action figure last chapter of my favorite book~~ toy from his garbage disposal belly. Last week I bought him a chicken. A rubber chicken wearing a pink polka dot bikini. I took pictures of it before i gave it to him, prepared to take pictures 15 min later, which is the LONGEST a chew toy has lasted in our house. (Why is it the most expensive toys for "tough chewers" are the ones that are gone after the second chomp?) We are on day 4 ladies and gentlemen. And this chicken hasn't so much as lost a polka dot. BUT... something strange has happened. Bernie has become attached at the ~~hip~~ lip to this thing. In the middle of the night I hear its annoying squeak as he brings it into his crate with him. When its time for him to go and play in the back yard, once I put his leash on, he turns around and grabs the chicken. 2 days ago he took the thing on a 30 min walk! I've NEVER seen anything like it! I picked up the chicken the other night, and was squeaking it almost subconsciously while watching TV, and he got mad at me! Took it from me, dropped it on the floor, sniffed her all over, then laid down and gave her a slobber bath! It's his Baby!!! My pup is a puppy mill survivor, which almost guarantees he was taken from his mama LONG before he should have been. So this parental instinct has come from where? I asked McHubby and he said from me. But I think he meant it in that I took all my baby-needing hormones and projected them onto the dog and this toy kinda way. Its OK baby. I know you think I'm crazy. ~~but you're sticking around... whats that make you??~~ I love you.

Busy rest of the week at my place. I've decided to go see SAW VI on Thursday (I have a love hate relationship with horror movies. I LOVE watching them from between my fingers as I cover my eyes, and I HATE how they scare me so bad I need to pee with the bathroom door open). Friday I think I'm taking Munchkin out of school for the day. Date day. Maybe take him to New Moon. (YES! I know! He's 7!! Probably not appropriate, and I got stopped last week by the librarian who asked me to explain to Munchkin ~~for the 3rd time~~ why he's not allowed to check out Twilight on Library day but he's already seen the first one, and he LOVES the idea!) Santa Claus Parade in my brothers town on Saturday, and family dinner Saturday night. Oh yeah... and THE surprise in there somewhere... :)

McHubby and I at the Parade his first year back in Canada... apparently he wasn't used to the cold :P

So you can see my brain is at capacity. And through it all, I've not entered a single contest this week. Im going through withdrawl...

Excuse me!!

2009-11-20T04:40:00.000-08:00

What the ~~Hell~~blue moon? I wake up this AM, and the 25 followers I PROUDLY boasted to McHubby about had dropped to 23!! What up with that!!! Did I not say the right things? Did I say something that offended them? Or maybe my ramblings were just too boring for them... I don't get it.

I take clicking that follow button VERY seriously. Its like picking who you'd sit with at lunch in high school. I never follow just for contests, and rarely on just one post. I like to come in, make myself comfortable, and then hit your archives... rifling through them like your medicine cabinet (come on... we've all done it) The more Prozac I find, the more likely I am to follow.

I can honestly say I've never "Unfollowed" a blog. I don't even know what the right term for that is... even if I lose interest in a blog, which has only happened once, I keep the blog on my role because its like visiting with that old friend you only see once a year, or only talk to on facebook.

When I started this blog way back when, I had one follower. And it was me, because I couldn't understand the ins and outs of blogger. Now I have 23 of you who pop in to read my thoughts and rambles from time to time. And I love it!

So... for the two of you that left, you probably wont even see this, but should you stumble back, if I offended you with my materialistic Christmas list, or whining about McHubby being gone, then well... maybe you should have looked around a little more before you decided to follow. Maybe I'll see you around... Maybe I won't.

For those of you sticking around, I have my first review and giveaway in the works. :) Its on a subject very close to my heart, and I am more then happy to be doing it... now... to figure out how many hoops you'll have to jump through to win it...

Oh the power.... Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha *cough cough* ha!

Surprise!! I already knew!!

2009-11-19T11:17:00.001-08:00

I guess its pretty obvious that yesterday was a shitty ass bad day. Its just that sometimes being separated from my family hits a little harder then other times.

So last night, with McHubby and I both emotionally drained from raising a teenager, I finally voiced what had been on my mind for the past couple days. I can't tell you here what it is, because it will ruin it for a couple of our RL people who read this. But... I can tell you that by telling him what was on my mind... I ruined a surprise he had planned. (hee hee... of course if you emailed and asked I could probably tell you... :D )

I've mentioned before McHubby LOVES surprises... I honestly think that to him, a surprise might actually be better than some good ol' sexy time. He goes out of his way to try and find ways to surprise me...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE surprises! I love it when he does something (big or little) that catches me off guard. Thing is, I love them but I'm not very good at them. I get this gut feeling that there's something up, and I cannot let it drop.

This was one of those cases. I pestered him enough last night that he spilled the beans. Then I was over the moon, but at the same time, sad because I ruined it for him.

So to squash my guilt, and t make him smile his goofy sexy "I got my way"smile I'm going to do something nice for him... I'm going to tell him what I want for Christmas.

McHubby, listen carefully... here are the ground rules I'm putting in place for this.

I DO NOT want you going out to purchase everything that is on this list.
I do NOT want you to be sad if you cannot get the things on this list... just... store them away for future reference.

Ok? ok! Here you go baby. I hope it makes you smile

1) Heels... I was packing this weekend and realized that don't own any. ANY! It made me sad. When I was growing up, my mom never had a pair of heels. She always wore these sensible black shoes, and I always thought she should have had a pair. I think they would have made her smile. I know the though of owning some sexy shoes of my own makes me smile. But... I've got to be honest... I'm going to end up wanting more then one pair.. (in fact I want all 5 below! lol... and a black pair... but... we'll start with one...

2) You are awesome at this one... and I know its been hard because of the distance. But... do you remember when you were working at the airport and we were living in Mississauga, and you used to bring me flowers after your morning shifts? I LOVE that about you. I want a vase... just one... somewhere in the house. One that will always have flowers in it. Flowers that you buy me (or the kids on my birthday and mothers day :P) It doesn't have to be filled with roses or anything. It could be daisies, or even flowers you pick from our front garden. I don't care. As long as they're there.

3) I have wanted a charm bracelet ever since I was a little girl. I've never had one, and I've entered about 5 blog contests this month alone, just for a shot of getting one. The charms? You can pick them. As long as they have meaning... to us... then I'll love them. (oh yeah... and if you don't like this idea, I could go for the watch we never ended up getting this summer :)

4) I dream of dinners together as a family... meals simmering on the counter as I clean the house, or while we take some family time. I love love love that thought. I dream about it. ALL the time. The house filling with the smell of a great dinner, meals together around the table, talking about our day... I promise not to open it and be like that woman who gets a vacuum for Christmas. This is truly on my I want list... one smoking cool slow cooker (I like the ones where the inside thing comes out so its easier to clean. like the one my folks have.

5) and last but not least, one of these...

I know... its frowned upon to give gift cards for Christmas, but that's what I want. I need clothes... nice fancy meet your friends/family/co-workers clothes. It seems my wardrobe has shrunk to a couple pairs of jeans, and sweat pants. I don't want to be that mom, and I DO NOT want to be that wife. Working at the shelter, holding someones hand as they puke all over me, cleaning out the "dungeon" as the sewer backs up while I stand on boxes... the wardrobe was practical... its not any more, and I want the new life to start on the right foot... AND... the gift card works because its easier then asking you to buy me clothes for a couple reasons.

I think that's it... that's my list... :)

Wishing Wednesday

2009-11-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

When I was working at an addictions center my first year out of college, we had a lot of clients who had a case of the "shoulda's". I shoulda walked away from that last drink. I shoulda kept my mouth shut rather then screaming at the cops. I shoulda called my kid on his/her birthday. We as a care team tended to discourage the shoulda's, finding that they tended to make the clients feel like failures, like now that the haze had cleared, that their choices were dumb. Although they weren't great choices at the time, we didn't want anything adding to the "Stinkin' Thinkin'" (I don't know what we had about the apostrophes) that came from a lot of the work we were doing.

Today I'm in a rut... not with shoulda's, but with wishing... wishing things were different, wishing things that I really have no control over. And its putting me in a rotten mindset. I'm trying to put them out of my mind but when I do, more wishes just fill the spot. Don't get me wrong. Its not all bad. There are some great wishes in there. Fabulous wonderful wishes.

I need to get them out. things are always clearer for me when I've got it out on paper.

I wish that I didn't have to wait 30 more days to reach out and touch McHubby. that I didn't have to wait to hold his hand, be in his arms!

I wish that my 16 year old could learn what I admit I couldn't at 16. That he's a good kid, and that people will like him for who he is, and not for who he's trying to be. I wish he could get a flash of where his life could be headed if he only believed in himself like his dad and I do!

I wish that my 10 year old was going to be with us for Christmas. It's going to be our first Christmas together as an "official" married family, and its going to be missing a huge piece because of the spirit and determination he brings to everything. I wish he knew... or maybe just ... believed that he'll be missed so much this year.

I wish that switching schools would be easy for my munchkin. He's been through so much in his little life, having "family" members appear and disappear from his life, changes over and over, and this is going to be a big one. I wish that he hadn't needed to grow up as fast as he had to help out his single mom for so many years.

I wish there were words to tell McHubby how much his patience has meant to me as I've adjusted to this whole relationship thing. He's had a lot to deal with, since I'm relationship challenged, and carrying around more baggage then an aircraft carrier. I wish I could tell him in advance how sorry I am for every mental breakdown I'm going to suffer over the silliest of things.

I wish that I could be one of those people who are SO sure of themselves. That I had the self confidence to accept myself for who I am, instead of having to cover every mirror in my house, and removing the ones attached to my bedroom furniture.

I wish that today would just be over. That it would be bedtime, so it could be "our" time again, so I could see your face, see you smile, hear you laugh.

I wish...

Because I not-so-secretly envy you

2009-11-15T22:51:00.000-08:00

I'm jealous of you. All of you and your product reviews, your giveaways, contests, and your sweet sweet product testing.

I went so far as to google product reviews the other day. So I could learn the secret of giving away blog love swag too! And do you know what I found from my google search? Sweet spam mail nothing. The one site I did find that listed the one helpful tip I could find was to start off by reviewing things I had around the house.

I'm moving! Boxes scattered everywhere! Anything good I had is already in VA. All that's left are my camera and my broken ~~piece of crap~~ laptop. Hmm ...

Here for your reading pleasure is my review of the HP Notebook series G60 review.

The HP Notebook G series from the outside looks like most every other laptop out there today. (with the exception of the very rustic commodore 64 throwback that is the MAC)

Consumers who purchase the HP Notebook G series will be glad to know it has a flippidy-do ram memory with 1 zillion gb of flin-flan and a graphic package of Who-ee calories per bite. Or is it bites per serving?

HP comes with some great features that will help you along the way.

Messy keys! It happens to the neatest of us. The munchkins are playing a game on our laptop and crumbs find their way in between the keys. Or your overly furry pet is basking in the warmth of your laptop and their fur finds it's way in between your keys. HP has come up with an excellent way to solve that problem.

With keys "O" "L" and "." removed, your access to cleaning away the crumbs and unwanted pet hairs can become much easier.

A state-of-the-art sound card allows you to watch the best ~~pirated~~ movies out there. But HP once again has gone that step further. While watching your ~~illegal~~ copy of Paranormal Activity you can count on the sound being enhanced by what seems to be an extra piece of plastic floating around and hitting the fan inside your laptop. What a great way to really get involved in the movie.
Always find yourself running late? Perhaps one of my favorite aspects of the HP Notebook G series is the fact that the internal clock falls back 3 hours roughly once every two days. Another great thing about THIS feature is that there's no need for you to turn it on. This seems to be a feature that is activated from day One of your purchase.

But the piece d'resistance is probably the incredible customer service you receive. HP really goes above and beyond. They know how frustrating early morning deliveries can be, having to get dressed and prepared. They know how pesky those company calls can be so they forgo them for your convenience, often shipping your package in accordance either the tidal pull of the moon or the earths gravitational rotation. Having trouble breaking free from farmville's evil grasp? An important assignment for work that you just need more time to finish? HP recognizes those needs and accommodates them as best they can, in my case shipping the needed replacement part 3 weeks after it was requested. Taking care of all those pesky blogging, sleeping and communicating issues I was suffering from.

**Note... I cannot promise that your HP Notebook G series will have these same features as mine. These are just the wonderful added bonuses my family found after the 3 HP Notebooks that we purchased and reviewed. If you purchase one and find that yours does not live up to the review posted, then ... well.. give it a few months, I bet you'll see these great features and more pop up in yours.

OK... So it may not get me products to review, but at least I was able to share with you my rewarding exsperience :) and yep... that's my actual keyboard with the missing keys! ALL the ailments listed above have occurred in my NEW laptop since March. However to send it back means I loose everything on it, including my 30G of pictures. :s

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone (because my stupid laptop is broken!)

oh for laptops sake!!

2009-11-15T05:46:00.000-08:00

I hate my laptop. I really do!! A few months back my cord broke, and its under warranty so I did the right thing and called and got them to send me a new one. THREE weeks later, it came!! ARGH!!! after an angry letter to the company which got the typical form letter response, and voila.. nothing happened. no sorry for the 3 week wait that nobody informed you about... nothing.

So, I sucked it up, and went on my merry notebook way.

Last night when I rolled over in the middle night, my laptop was darker then it usually is. I looked and sure enough... my laptop was reading that it was running on battery power, while it was plugged in. I've changed the outlets its plugged in to, I've fiddled with the cord... I've turned the laptop off for a few hours... nothing. its not working! and I am SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Food, Cooking and a little Drabby to Fabby!

2009-11-13T20:41:00.000-08:00

Meal times in my house are an important occasion. Ever since I can remember, we've gathered around the table, broke bread and shared about our days. As little kids, I remember sitting at the table long after the actual eating had stopped, talking about .... everything. Over the years we've added and taken away chairs as our family dynamic changed and expanded. Our table has always been open to family and friends, and its not surprising on holidays to find those far from home seated at our table.

As a kid, this never meant anything to me. It was just louder, and sometimes a little less dessert left over. Now being older, and pretending to be wiser, I can see the effect this open table policy had on out family. I'm close to my family. As a teenager I told my parents stuff that made my best friend cringe and say "Do you tell your parents EVERYTHING?" There was always this openness around the table that made it comforting, and I think my brother and I are better people for it. (Don't get me wrong, we're not perfect and have been known to loose our way, but like the prodigal son we've always found ourselves back at our parents table, welcomed with open arms)

(Our Thanksgiving table this year)

Some of my best memories come from a group of us getting together and if nothing else, it opens us up to some pretty funny stories, and a chance to share some pretty ~~raunchy~~ funny jokes (Including my parents, there are 5 ministers in my immediate {aunt and uncle} family, and it's like a chance to tell dirty jokes to those of their kind. I've never seen (heard) anything like it!)

(This is my family, my brother's family, my sister in laws family, and her twin sister's family after church a few weeks ago)

So with all those meals, all that food and fellowship, you've gotta figure there's some good food...

(Thanksgiving dinner this year)

(Homemade Mac and Cheese... YUM!)

(Monkey Bread. I had NEVER had anything like this till last weekend and my tummy is already growling just looking at this picture!)

(Vegetarian Lasagna -and bad camera work)

(Homemade Bread fresh from the oven. THAT's what I think Heaven will smell like)

(Homemade apple pies and blossoms made from scratch with apples picked at the local apple farm. THATS home grown fresh)

So you'd think, with this love of food that I would be in there... up to my elbows in pasta, sauce and cinnamon. But sadly to say I was not blessed with the cooking Gene. How do I know that? Well... I made some chicken bacon "Pupcakes" for Bernie's birthday. Take a look at this...

Yep. Its pretty bad when the dog who eats his own poop finds it hard to swallow your cooking.

Now you may remember a little contest called Drabby to Fabby. You know the contest I blog about obsessively?? Well, last contest there were possibly 3 of us that actually entered pictures. For some reason, no one wants to take pictures of themselves. They just want the swag. Well... Poop on them! Cheapskate has found it a little discouraging because... well.. the pictures are fun!! who doesn't want to look at other and say I'm so there!

Last contest I posted pictures of my INCREDIBLY messy house. Like can't see the floor in some rooms kind of messy. And you know what? People commented and said "Thats what MY house looks like!" or "I can't keep that room clean either!" and you know what? I wasn't ashamed of the way my house looked (ok... maybe I was a tad worried someone would show the pictures to my soon to be mother in law...). I knew there were other moms out there who dreaded folding laundry and stuff... It wasn't so bad! In fact I found it kind of encouraging that others were like me. So... I dont really know why other people wont post pics. But if nothing else it gives you a chance to laugh at yourself. Which everyone should be able to do!

So this week's Drabby to Fabby, we need to show a picture of ourselves slaving away in the kitchen. But that's a problem for me because... I don't cook. I'm living with my parents ATM, and they are the cooks and grocery buyers so they usually decide the menu.

So... whats a girl to do who wants to support her blogger friends? Well... I guess I gotta keep it real and show how I make dinner... me slaving away in the kitchen...

(Oh Pizza Pizza Order Online... I love how you've changed my life)

But to be honest, here's me when I'm most in my element during the meal prep time...

How about you? Why not take a picture of you slaving away in the kitchen. Post it, then head on over to Drabby to Fabby, and enter to for a chance to win a hot mama apron from Quilt A Treasure.

13th curse?

2009-11-13T08:37:00.000-08:00

I don't believe in bad luck. I believe in Karma, and I believe in signs... but not bad luck.

So, when I got this letter this AM I didn't panic, nor did I chalk it up to Friday the 13th.

Dear Sir/Madam:

I am the lawyer for Credit Bureau of Canada Collections acting on behalf of TELUS MOBILITY to whom you are indebted in the amount of $645.41.

If this matter is not dealt with as set forth herein we may commence legal action against you.

You may avoid a lawsuit by making payment within 7 business days from the date of this letter. Payment should be made payable to Credit Bureau of Canada Collections by cheque or money order and sent to the address noted below. If your payment is not received proceedings may be commenced without further notice.

If an action is commenced and a Judgement is obtained, you may be subject to enforcement proceedings including garnishment of wages. As well, in addition to the amounts now owing you may required to reimburse out client for its court costs, legal fees, and pre and post judgement interest.

Litigation is expensive and may significantly affect your credit history. Our client is willing to resolve this matter without resort to litigation on the basis of an out of court lump sum settlement of $442.77 paid in the time period and manner stated above. Alternatively, we will accept 4 equal monthly installments of $161.35 on the balance to avoid any further action.

Call this number.......................... and avoid the cost of litigation.

Trusting you will find the above satisfactory.

Yours truly,

Jerky McLawyer.

So at this point a couple things come to mind. The first being that I haven't owned a telus phone for 3 years. Are they that hard up for money that 3 years later they've invented a reason to get some from me? A little digging shows that Telus owns Kodoo... THEM I owe.

I'm not a bill jumper, or one of those people you have to track down for money. I know this letter would seem otherwise, but I'm not. I pay my bills on time. When I have money. I don't use this phone anymore. I stopped using it when I quit my job because I knew that I couldn't afford it. AND as I've told Jack, the collections guy who's called my house twice a week since Feb. I would pay it if I could but... I can't. I get $300 a month from the government of Ontario for Munchkin.

$300.00 and with that, I buy dog food, dog meds, hamster food, hamster supplies, munchkin food, munchkin meds. Clothes as needed (which has meant 4 pairs of shoes for Munchkin since Sept because he wears them through till his toes poke out) Now is winter, so add snow pants, boots, any school activities, that are averaging out to about $50 a month, and the O-C-C-A-S-I-O-N-A-L treat when Munchkin has been a good kid, and then that money is G-O-N-E. I'm very lucky to be able to stay with my parents at the moment. If it weren't for them, I would be screwed. On my dresser is $5.60, and the $20 that Hayden just got in a card from McHubby.

I'm not here to say poor me. Not at all. But I AM trying to make the point that things are tight, and this Telus bill... not on my priority list.

So... what do I do with this letter? I decide to respond to Jerky McLawyer. But not before doing a little more research on TELUS, the company so hard up for my money.

Here's what I emailed back.

Mr McLawyer,

I received your letter this AM in regards to Docket# XXXXXXX, Acct #XXXXXXX, monies owed to Telus Mobility (through Kodoo Mobile, I assume)

I appreciate your clients willingness and generosity in offering me a chance at an out of court settlement for a significantly less lump sum. It is more then fair on their part. However it is with great regret that I inform you that this amount is also not within a payment option for me.

Being a single mom who has not worked since February, and is not receiving any type of social assistance or income, as you can imagine my credit history has already been significantly affected (as your letter indicates your client would damage your client would do when charging me their court costs, legal fees and pre and post judgment interest). I have already had to release my families apartment, have sold the family car in March and have been left with nothing in the form of assets. $442.77 is more then ALL the money I would see within a month, and having no medical insurance, and a young child, I cannot give your client what little I DO have and then not be able to provide for my child. I think that is something even your client would not want to have happen. Even the alternate payment of 161.35 would take more then half of the money I have in a month.

Telus Mobility is western Canada's most successful company and reported 3rd quarter 2009 net income of $280 million dollars. Which means that the generous offer they extended to me would pass through their A/r & A/P accounts 632,382.5 times in their third quarter. Not even their end of year. So, although I appreciate their generosity, the 1/632,382.5th of their net income would leave me with no money to support my son, purchase groceries, afford school activities, or even clothes or shelter for him. Unfortunately, it is just not something that is feasible, or even imaginable with my situation. I apologize for this loss for your client, and understand the difficult position they and you are in, however I just do not have the money to pay this bill. If I had, I would have made payment long before now, and would not have let it get to this point.

I am open to other suggestions you, or Telus may have to get this bill taken care of with out detriment to me or my son.

Thank you so much for your time.

Sharon Elliott.

So, with that done, I went about the rest of my day. Until Fed Ex showed up with my engagement ring that McHubby has spent 3 months trying to get fixed by the store where he bought it, and a bill for shipping on TOP of what he paid to ship it for $133.XX!!! (which I didnt have laying around, so it's gone to package purgitory)

So... I dont believe in bad luck, but today is messing with my karma mojo!

Better then ME???

2009-11-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

"That's a great idea but... I have a better one"

"I know you love doing_________ so I wanted to show you how I was doing it... better then you"

"Oh you're doing that? I think that I'll do it to... better then you"

Do you have these people in your lives? I seem to be surrounded by them lately. (I'm not talking that rival from high school I'm talking abut CLOSE family and Friends!!) I take on a project, and instantly I have 3 other people doing them with me. No matter what it is. (I don't intend to get into examples of WHAT these ~~idea stealer's~~ group projects are because my blog is linked to my facebook, where my ~~idea stealer's~~ friends and family can click and view any time they want.

Sufficed to say there are people in my life who seem to take the things I find joy in, and make it either sound dumb, or beneath what they can do. Its infuriating and hurtful, and I'm not in a place where I'm comfortable telling these people ~~to shove it~~ that they are hurting my feelings by making my things about them, or by making it seem like I can't do it.

This is one of the reason's McHubby and I decided on the whole almost no one attending the wedding. NO family members except for our kids. NO friends except for people who have done nothing but support us. People who showed even the slightest frown or "Hmm" at our relationship got their names scratched off the guest list.

I can't wait to be on our own. To be our own family. I know it will be hard with all my family in a different country, and all of McHubby's family a few states away, but I have to be honest, that's part of the appeal to me. A chance for me to be my own woman. The co-head of my own household. MY menu playing, MY grocery buying (hello Organic and free-range foods, how I've missed you!!) MY cleaning schedule, and MY parenting (well... co parenting... but you get the idea). I am excited!! I really am!! No one to offer ~~criticism~~ suggestions on my parenting skills ~~WHILE I'm trying to parent~~, no one to try and top my adventure of the day, no one to mutter under their breath ~~oh so quietly~~ that I shouldn't be doing something the way I am!

I'll make mistakes. I'll be too harsh on something one of the kids do, and to lenient on another. I'll feed them crap for dinner one night because I was too tired, and my kids may have to poke and prod at me for clean underwear once or twice. But... it'll be OK, because I'll be my own person, my own woman and what an awesome day that is going to be!!!

On a totally ~~related~~ different topic, some of you may remember my idea for a wedding cake last week. Well I've changed my mind. I was packing and found the Wilton Romantic Castle Cake Set that I bought and never used. It looks great, the instructions sound super easy, and it should be a no brainer. I'm going to do a test run of the cake late next weak (when the budget allows for the dry run) and I'll do you up a nice review :)

Give Away Mania

2009-11-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

I'm a little ~~obsessed~~ preoccupied with giveaway's and contests at the moment. With this free Christmas idea that my mom had, I've been entering contests non-stop in hopes of winning some cool swag for the people on my gift list this year. I've won a couple things, and some may be given as gifts. (But NO-ONE is touching my drabby to fabby hair win!! That is ALL MINE!!)

I've never RUN a contest before. I don't know the ins and outs and am happy to just simply fill out the required info and ~~run~~ move on to the next contest. But I have to ask for those of you who do these regularly...

ARE PEOPLE CONTEST CRAZY??!??!??

Mabel's Labels is hosting a FUN contest today. They are cleaning out their sample and unclaimed order bin, so every hour on the hour, they are releasing names to both their facebook site and their twitter. First person to comment on the name wins them. Free!

Its awesome, and I have ~~TOO MUCH~~ nothing to do today, so I've parked myself on the couch with the dog, and I'm surfing both. Looking to win some cool labels for a special kid on my shopping list.

Now we're all chatting while we're waiting for the next set of names, when one woman comments

"How long will the contest last? Its super hard to watch young children and bounce between Twitter and Facebook at the same time :-( I think just one or the other at a time would be much easier for all of us."

Now I can see her point. I don't agree with it, but I can see it. It could be hard. BUT at the same time, its a contest. She doesn't HAVE to participate. and a couple people tell her so. (myself included)

Sharon Elliott
I think it's supposed to go until 5pm.
43 minutes ago · Delete · Report

XXXX
I think they have both because many people are not on twitter and they want to spread the love ;)
43 minutes ago · Report

XXx
Not everyone has both Facebook and Twitter! I think they are trying to reward both sets of fans for being followers.
43 minutes ago · Report

xxx
but yes I have the same issue here
42 minutes ago · Report

Original Poster
Geez, there are not that many people on Twitter - only 10% of all members compose 95% of the tweets, something like that.

Now, I have no idea about twitter. I use to to post for contests and stuff, but I don't twitter (twitt?) But others apparently do and think they need to educate this woman.

Xx
They have 3200 followers on Twitter.
43 minutes ago · Report

Original Poster
I expected an hour or so - 5 pm is 8 hours from now my time, I'm a loyal customer, but I have work to do! Its all good and fine for them, this is their job, but this is not fair for their customers.
41 minutes ago · Report

xxx
I don't understand why people are complaining. They don't owe you anything. This is just for fun and something nice they do for their customers.
40 minutes ago · Report

~~Be-otch~~ person of interest
Its not like they even have to do this contest. Its for the people who happen to catch the name they want. Either you can wait for it or not, just be grateful they are even doing this.
40 minutes ago · Report

Sharon Elliott
I totally get your point, but they're giving it away free... so they can give them away how they see fit. its up to us if we want to participate or not.
39 minutes ago · Delete · Report

xxx
I agree _____! What's not fair about FREE? If you get something yay! If not, oh well...they don't owe anyone anything.
39 minutes ago · Report

XXX
They are giving away FREE labels! Don't complain about the way they choose to do it! It sounds pretty ungrateful!
39 minutes ago · Report

XXX
I second that, ____! It's a really nice thing for the Mabel's Label's folks to do. Besides, no one is forcing anyone to sit at their computers all day and update.
37 minutes ago · Report

Original Poster
And of 3200 followers there is a percentage already on Facebook that prefer Facebook, a percentage that works full-time (8am to 5pm) and unable to participate regardless. The fact they have 3200 followers is irrelevant - I am one of them and I can not be in 3 places at one time. They need to post names on only one service at a time - there is nothing wrong with making it fair to their customers.
36 minutes ago · Report

XX
Go do your work _____...you're really taking a fun idea and crapping all over it.
35 minutes ago · Report

XXX
hmmmm let's see life isn't always fair. thanks Mabel's labels for the great opportunity!!
34 minutes ago · Report

XX
Wow! You blow my mind. I don't think this contest has anything to do with being fair. It is just fun to try and win.
34 minutes ago · Report

Original Poster
And yes I completely agree with everyone - it is definitely a very nice thing for them to do - just remember they are simply clearing out stock that they already had extras of.
34 minutes ago · Report

XXX
Am I the only one who can't stand whining?
34 minutes ago · Report

At this point Mabel's Labels steps in to kind of clarify and let everyone know what the plan is...

Mabel's Labels
We appreciate all the fan love coming our way today :) We will be giving the love back with this contest running until 5pm EST. In order to avoid ambushing every one's Facebook feeds, I will post a bunch every hour on the hour all afternoon.
33 minutes ago · Report

XXX
FOR FREE!!!! sheesh!!
33 minutes ago · Report

XXX
Who cares if they already had them? It matters how?
31 minutes ago · Report

~~Be-otch~~ Person of interest
Why does there always have to be that ONE person that complains? In these hard times, I am astounded that anyone would have the audacity to be so rude to a company that is giving its customers a chance at a little treat. Mabels Labels are $20. If it means that much to you, spend all day on your computer trying to get a free set. If not, move along. Its that simple. It's not like anyone is giving away a Hawaiian vacation or a sports car. Geeeeeeez.
29 minutes ago · Report

So, annoyed with EVERYONE jumping at this poor woman, whether she deserved it or not...

Sharon Elliott
I dont think a 20+ comment post is the way to go ;) Mabel's has said they will be doing different names on the hour, some of us will go for it, some of us wont. I think we need to remember that Mabel's doing this for a fun giveaway, not for us to "yell" at each other. Just My Opinion.
29 minutes ago · Delete · Report

~~Person of interest~~ Be-otch
and you adding to the 20+ comment post helps......how?
26 minutes ago · Report

Original Poster
I only posted ideas, its turned into a "complain about whining party". If you don't want to hear it, please stop reading the thread. Easy. I LOVE Mabel's Labels and have purchased many $$$ worth - they have made life so much easier for myself and my autistic son at both of his schools. I have a right to my suggestions, and a right to post as anyone else.
26 minutes ago · Report

Sharon Elliott
_________, I was just trying to draw attention to the fact that we're adults, and that I think the point had already been made that not everyone was happy with this woman's post, but... rather then to continue on, that we could maybe stop and focus on something elsle. Mearly a suggestion, and your attitude helps how?
22 minutes ago · Delete · Report

~~Be-otch~~ MEGA Be-otch
Well I just happen to be a big believer in "put up, or shut up" :) KWIM?

At this point I stop engaging. It seems the best thing to do, rather then press enter on my "Well I just happen to be a big believer in your being a mega Be-otch" post.

Are people like this for contests you guys do? I wouldn't be able to handle it.

P.S... I just won a pack of Bin Labels from Twitter.. SWEET!!!!

Code language.

2009-11-10T15:05:00.000-08:00

McHubby and I talk in code... I'm sure as parents, you have too.

When the eldest was little, the rules were no P-O-P before B-E-D. We used to spell our conversations to avoid little ears repeating. That stopped working. With our boys getting older (16,10,7) it became impossible to talk in secret. So we started using French. Worked great for our boys, but my nephews are all in french-immersion. As a last resort, we started using "Ung". Ung is a wonderful language that takes a little getting used to, but for the little spellers in the family, its proved very useful.

It goes something like this. You take a word, and you put "ung" after every consonant. and then you say the vowels properly. For example... My name is Sharon. In "ung" it reads (say it just how it looks) Sung-Hung-a-Rung-o-Nung. Cat would be Cung-a-tung. Now we have smart kids. A little too smart at times. They've started sounding out the UNG. So McHubby and I have had to get creative. We now speak in "Ung" backwards. (tung-a-cung for cat).

I love that hubby have our own secret language, but it's not just Ung. We are school yard talkers. Maybe its just us. Maybe its that we're both social workers, so observing our environment is something that we're trained to do. Or maybe we're just nosey. Whatever it is, when we're in the school yard, we talk about the activities of the other parents.

There's Psycho Dad, ~~perv in that need to take a shower after he's talked to me~~ invading personal space to chat about... I don't know because I tune him out after he offered me a workout CD one day suggesting maybe I could use it more then him.

Super mom is the mom that I almost ~~punched in the face~~ had a heated discussion with after she called my son a liar (check THIS post out for more on Super Mom)

"Dude with the shaved Golden", "Snobby mom" "Bully kid's mom", these speak for themselves

Cell phone lady is from the pack of after school babysitters. She is ALWAYS on her cell phone, including the day she ~~smashed into our car, causing 3 grand in damages~~ and we were involved in a fender bender.

But perhaps our favorite is "Shawn Micheal" so named for the ~~rank mullet~~ striking resemblance to the wrestler Shawn Micheals.

Munchkin has made friends with Shawn Micheals' son, and we all walked home from school together yesterday. We saw what was either a beaver or a muskrat. My vote was on muskrat due to the lack of the typical beaver tail, and Shawn Micheals vote was beaver. So I'm on the phone with McHubby last night

"Scott thinks it was a beaver but I really don't think it was."

"Who is Scott?"

"Oh baby, you know... Shawn Micheals!"

Do you have code names for people or things so the kids don't know what you're talking about?

I quit!

2009-11-10T04:14:00.000-08:00

I'm a quitter! 2 weeks ago I started the NaNoWriMo challenge. For those of you not familiar, it's a chance to write your own novel. They recommend that you log 1,667 words per day to stay on par. By November 8th, you should be at 11,666 words. Today is the 10th, and I have 395 words. NOT the epic novel I had planned.

I have always wanted to be a writer, and I thought this would be a great opportunity. Turns out I'm not so creative under pressure. I was sad at first, when I realized I was too far behind to catch up. I didn't want to admit that with no job, and a kid in school full time, that I STILL didn't have the time/creativity to write just over 1500 words a day. But after a middle of the night email from NaNoWriMo meant to encourage me, I realized that I was OK with not doing it. So NaNoWriMo, I quit! I DON'T quit my dreams of being a writer, but I will try to better focus on a genre that I like, and I will try to get more "words" out there.

I've got some serious blogstipation lately and so I'll be back in a bit after I find some inspiration... :P

2009-11-08T15:46:00.001-08:00

Keep Animals Safe - Click here for more home videos

Backtrack

2009-11-08T10:21:00.000-08:00

So I finally had a chance to look at the pictures we took at my nephews baptism last month. My 3 nephews, and their cousin on the other side of the family were baptised as well as a very special dedication.

No thank you. Unless you want me to. If its what you want.

2009-11-08T06:12:00.000-08:00

I used to be a brave woman. At 25, I was the assistant director of a shelter, taking on case plans, social services workers, abusive spouses and even the occasional Member of Parliament. I was the "Can Do" girl. Advocating for clients who weren't being heard, I worked with landlords, bill collectors, police, lawyers, and banks to make sure that our clients got fair and equal treatment. I started out as a Front Line Worker. Answering phones, doing intakes, working 12 hours shifts. Mostly nights. When I was pregnant with Munchkin, I was on year 2 of straight night shifts. My morning sickness started at 4:30 in the afternoon, because that was MY morning. When I moved up to management, I said goodbye to the 12 hour shifts and hello to 60 hour work weeks and On Call duty. Leaving for work before the sun was up, and coming home supper time, it was normal for me to arrive at the house at 6pm, to receive a phone call 10-15 min later causing me to have to go back to work. I LOVED my work. but it was hard!

All those long hours, in such a stressful environment took its toll on me. By 2007, I was sludging through my work, and struggling to make it through the days till the weekend (which still weren't clear thanks to the On Call phone). It wasn't until McHubby, who was McFriend working with me at the time watched me have a full fledged panic attack on the highway on the way to work that someone finally said "Something is up!"

Panic attacks, constant double checking my work, and headaches were all pointing to a tough choice. It was after a Dr's appointment where my blood pressure was SO high that she took it 3 times during the appointment to be sure that her Sphygnomiter wasn't broken that I finally admitted I needed help.

Thankfully, being in management had showed me the importance of banking my sick days. I took 2 weeks off, but getting in the car and heading to the building I had practically lived in for 8 years still caused me to hyperventilate. Acknowledging burn out at 28 is a hard thing.

I had pushed through it. Working when I really wasn't in the mental state TO be working had already taken its toll. Usually the first to arrive on an incident, I now dreaded the call of a frantic coworker. Where I had once bounded up the stairs at 8.5 months pregnant to break up a fight in the dorm, I was shrinking back, allowing others to deal with the situation.

My confidence was shot. To the point where my best friend would have to walk between me and those "on the street survey people" so that I wouldn't break down in tears. It was hard. After 8 years of giving my all to a job that I to this day LOVE, I resigned. It was a very hard choice, and I lost a number of close friends because of it. Some of us have worked to repair our relationship, others have been deemed un-fixable.

Its 2 years later, and slowly my confidence is returning. I've held 3 jobs since then. A wholesale warehouse, where I was an order taker/office administrator. It was a company that I had worked with while at the Non Profit, and during my interview, the boss had said "Did you get shelter burn out?" She understood, and it was very comforting. McHubby and I were also superintendents at a 200 unit town house complex. That was.... well... an experience. My favorite by far was working at the Vet clinic. Receptionist work is... well... easy after a life at the shelter. My grief counselling transferred over from the shelter to euthanasia's better then I would have thought. And working as an Animal Care Attendant was one of the happiest moments in my life... except for the cats. lol. They dint like me, and I'm... well... terrified of them :P

McHubby and I have developed a system. If something comes up that I can't do. Something that makes my anxiety rise, I ask him "Can you be the boy?" and his chest puffs out a little in that caveman caring for his family sort of way, and says "Of course baby, whatever you need". Its really cute actually. but kinda sad at the same time that there are certain things.. usually silly, that I can't do.

So this AM, McHubby got am email that went like this "Can you be the boy and cancel Hayden's play date for me? He's still not 100% and I'd rather he spend another day at home and be ok for school tomorrow." See, I've already cancelled on this mom a few weeks ago when my nephews left their med bag at our house and we drove north of the city to pick it up. So in my head, if I'm the one who cancels again, this other mom is going to be mad at me. Or talk about me. I know both are irrational. What mom wouldn't understand a sick kid? But in my head, its something I can't get past. So asking McHubby to call for me shouldn't be a big deal... that's how moms and dads work together BUT don't forget. McHubby in Virginia, and I am in Toronto.

McHubby is in church ATM. He's singing today, and his parents are special guests. He wont get the email till the meeting is over, but I'm 99.9% sure that he'll do it for me, and it will just go onto the heaping pile of reasons why he's my PERSON.

Spooky Saturday

2009-11-06T10:04:00.000-08:00

I'm still waiting on word from the"mystery decision", and I really can't focus on much else at the moment.

Friday I was lounging in bed watching Explore Food on Justin.tv, unable to keep my mind on much more.

Today I have a sick Munchkin at home. Hopefully they're right about once you catch the swine flu you wont catch it again. Munchkin had it last summer, before all they hype, and I really hope its not what we're dealing with again...

So... rather then fumble through a post that won't really make sense to anyone, myself included, here's a peek at our Halloween adventure last weekend.

Today...

2009-11-05T04:07:00.000-08:00

OK... so I'm going to steal a page from a couple of my other blogger friends (yes Cheapskate... I'm thinking about you on this one. You'll see why)

Something is going on today. Something personal, something that I'm not even comfortable sharing through the anonymity of the blogger world (and lets be honest... I've shared lots :P )

Today is THE day. A day that can make or break this little bubble world I've built. To say today is a life changing day sounds cheesy... but it is.

Today is a day I have been counting down to for longer then I probably should have been. Today can make my grey skies turn blue. But... in order to do that, they will turn someone else's grey. Talk about being torn. I've spent hours.. days.. months.. years... pleading, praying, bargaining, begging for this day. But in order for this day to have the outcome I've been asking for, someone else will have the outcome they never desired sprung upon them. Well... not really sprung... but it'll not be their finest hour.

So... why come here and talk about not talking about it? Because I need every good thought thinking, karma believing, praying, rabbit foot rubbing, salt throwing, clover searching, horse shoe throwing person out there pulling for me. But I also need them sending all those good thoughts to the "other side" as well. That there will be peace, understanding, and healing, should this all go the way I'm hoping.

So that's about it for now... I've got lots of plans for today to keep my mind off things, so I may or may not pop back in. I'll let you know if its a yes or no when I know more!!

♪ You'll be the Prince I'll be the Princess ♪

2009-11-04T13:46:00.000-08:00

45 days... in 45 days I will say goodbye to this existence I've been passing time in, and I will start living! This wonderful life planned from before the first hello, the first tear and before the first goodbye.

It's crazy when I stop to actually think about it. I got together with my best friend since grade 9 this week, and we went through her wedding albums, over my flowers, her dress, my wedding dress (which was her dress) and I looked at the pics of her and her husband and I kinda went... WOW that's going to be me!! and I couldn't picture it... the white dress, the flowers, I just couldn't see it.

McHubby is now probably hyperventilating after reading that so I should probably clarify. I can see our lives together. I can see getting up in the mornings and making breakfast. I can picture family dinners, and movie nights. I can picture every aspect of our happily ever after. But the ceremony... the posed pictures... that's where I'm having trouble.

Deciding to "elope" for our wedding was at one point a tough choice. But I was reminded a couple of times this week that it really is the right choice for us. Between people wanting to "help" by doing things their way, or by imposing their opinions on us, and the formality of a "normal" wedding... I know that our wedding will be everything we've wanted it to be :)

BUT... what about the presents?!?!?!?!?!?

CAKE!!

2009-11-02T19:11:00.001-08:00

Oh my goodness!! I've missed you... keeping up with this whole writing a novel and planning a wedding thing has been crazy!! If only my theme for the novel had been wedding planning/blogging/mommy-ing.
So... here we have a post.. more or less just to say I've done one...

I FINALLY decided on my cake. I'm making it myself. Which makes me very happy because baking is my stress reliever. So... I'm attaching a sneak peek of my cake... final product still to be determined, but I just wanted to get it out on paper...
Oh... and a couple more cakes because... well... I dont want to be the only one craving cake

My nephew's popcorn cake...

A bad picture of my nephew's treasure chest cakes

Pardon the crappy writing on that one!!

Hayden's Brain cake!!

and the Fabby results

2009-10-30T14:47:00.000-07:00

For those of you who REFUSE to read back... here's the jist.

These two awesome blogger chicks Cheapskate and DiPaola put on this GREAT contest/challenge called Drabby to Fabby. Which is a really awesome way to encourage us other bloggers to take a few min. for ourselves. Which we could all stand to do. AND in the process of feeling good about ourselves,, we get a chance to win SWAG!!!!!

So today's challenge was to show us at our drabbiest. :P I decided to take pics of the house... being mid move for 6 months is hard!! Boxes everywhere as you sort through, trying to decide what can get packed, what wont. What you can chuck and what you'll need till move day.

Check back to my last post Drabby to Fabby is here again, to see pictures of the Drabby side of my move.

Below you will find the Fabby side... and no... the laundry STILL isn't folded. And now there's FIVE loads!! Eeps!

Drabby to Fabby is here AGAIN!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!

2009-10-30T03:52:00.001-07:00

Alright!! Its Friday!!!

My dog... my wonderful lovable goofball decided that at 6:15, when he heard my dad get up to take out the last bag of garbage before the truck came, that it was HIS time to be up too. My dog does not sleep in. He's worse then the kids on a Saturday morning! So when I heard the first "chuff"... you dog owners know what I'm talking about.. not quite a bark, but louder then a sigh... its translation in my house is "Anyone up?", I ignored him. I managed to go until 6:30 before the barking was enough that I was worried it would wake munchkin. So out he went, and I threw a load of laundry in. I actually feel quite proud as there's now a load in the washer, one in the dryer, and the alarm clock (iPod) hasn't given its horrible morning crow yet.

So I unplug my laptop and head into the washroom to catch up on some reading (I know!! TMI!! But there's not one of us who hasn't done it!! McHubby, The Oldest Boy, and even McPoppy have all been seen carting their laptops into the "Office" so I've converted :P) I log in, and head over to Cheapskate, and see that she's put out a challenge.

What is it with me and this woman? She puts out a challenge and I jump!!! I can't wait to do it and until I do, I'm consumed by thoughts of it! So her challenge this week? (taken from her blog... but you'd know that if you clicked the fabby link above...) "I think it would be fun to just do a Drabby post. Are you up for it? So this week I am asking you to show me your Drabbiest side and link back"

I gotta tell you... early mornings... as much as I complain... kinda rock my world... I feel like I get a lot accomplished (hence the laundry) and it feels good! I don't really feel drabby today. I feel like I'm kinda rockin' Fabby! Sure I haven't showered in 4 days, and brush has neither touched my hair or teeth yet this am... but... I feel Fabby. So... what to do... I love participating in the Drabby to Fabby's... I can't skip it!! So as I sit there, I look around the bathroom wondering what I could do... and my eye's rest on... THIS...

My sink.. well... it's in there somewhere. And instantly my Drabby to Fabby for the week is born. I've got energy to burn (right now) and this is a project that is screaming to be done.

For those of you who DIDN'T read back when you first joined up... I have Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies that manifest themselves during times of stress. Obviously by looking around my house... I have not been feeling stressed in a while... (click the link... you know you want to... just... finish reading here first... one task at a time please :P)

So... I don't know if it counts towards an actual D2F entry, but my Drabby to Fabby this week is my house. Having it clean, organized and packed IS time to myself because a) I actually LIKE cleaning... shhh... don't tell McHubby!! b) Having everything neat and organized is ACTUAL therapy for me... when my place is chaos, you can bet my emotions are chaotic as well. I'll post Fabby pics when I'm done so you can see them, but for now... hold on to the edge of your seats. Cover the kids eye's... they don't need to see this.

Here is my drabby... welcome to the dark side...

(Launrdy baskets in my bathtub... with CLEAN laundry in them! I HATE folding clothes!)

(munchkins room from the door)

(Munchkin's dresser... and unmade bed... and.. sleeping cutie patootie)

(My Bedroom... Ugh the boxes!! When will they end?)

Ideas??

2009-10-28T18:42:00.000-07:00

Ok... I'm asking for help. Because I'm at a loss for ideas.

My family this year is having a "homemade/second hand" Christmas. I'm not working right now, in getting ready for the move. My S-I-L is a stay at home mom, and my Bro was laid off from his job. So.. you can see the idea was to save some money. Which is great! We've made a couple trips to thrift stores, and have found some pretty sweet deals.

But here's the thing. I want to make something for the Nanny's and Poppy's. My parents are really special to Hayden, we've lived with them almost his entire life. And now this year, He has a whole new set of grandparents to make something for. Problem is... I have no idea what to make for them! Well that's not true.

For his grandmothers (Nanny's) Munchkin is making slinky Christmas card holders. You stretch out a slinky, put a weighted 1/2 a Styrofoam ball at each end, and decorate... very cute!! His Grandmothers are great, and ... they're grandmothers... come on.. easy!

For MY dad, he might make a paper weight, or a glasses case, we haven't really narrowed down what it will be yet, but there are tons of options out there. For McHubby's Dad (McPoppy?)... I just don't know!! There's been some tension with the family's merging, and so I want to make sure that this gift says "Your new grandson loves you" (because he does!! Hayden was enamoured by him right away!! and they've only met a few times) but I don't want to push it too much, because its still new.

There's also the fact that I want to knock this guys socks off. McHubby's male relatives are known for their sensitive side... I want this gift to touch him. :P AND the fact that I LOVE this guy also plays a big factor (I bet McHubby gets a big smile on his face reading that!) I do LOVE him. We worked together at our local church, He was my minister, my confidant, and... he's a carbon copy of McHubby. You know the duck under the covers on a rainy day with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate? THAT is the feeling my Father-In-Law puts out when he smiles. He's great. And I really want this gift to impress.

So... my crafty friends... and my male minded readers... I am looking for any and all ideas crafty. What can we make?

(Below My Parents)

(McNanny andMcPoppy)

Once upon a time...

2009-10-28T07:37:00.000-07:00

I just got off the phone with McHubby. He's having a rough day today, so to make him smile, and to make you all make that barfy noise all people make when sappy-ness is involved, here's MY take on "Back in the day"

I moved to Toronto when I was 14. I was from small town nowhere-ville. My parents and I started going to church at a local church. The ministers there were friends of the family (and as of today.. my future in laws). I don't remember the exact day McHubby and I met. Neither of us do. Any memory I have from back then, he was just there.

I can't share our very first thoughts of each other, because... well... I try to keep the blog no higher then a 14AA rating. But... we met. And I was instantly enamoured by this older (gg) charming, smart, funny guy that I felt drawn to. We became fast friends, pretty much inseparable. I don't know if you remember back, but at 14 with this older guy laughing at your jokes, opening doors for you, its wasn't long before I had a MAJOR crush on my best friend. I jumped at any chance to be around him, so when he and his wife needed a baby sitter for their adorable little baby, I jumped at the chance. (Besides, I was already babysitting his brothers kids)

Fast forward a couple years, and its time for my best friend and his family to move. I was heartbroken. (A little more so then "just a friend" would be) But it was what he needed to do, and so we had one of the most painful goodbye's imaginable. We stayed in touch, but it was hard at times, strained.

Fast forward a couple more years. I've moved out on my own, working a great job, living with a HORRIBLE boyfriend who I thank for two things; Learning to block a left hook, and for an incredible little boy. I was holding my life together with duct tape, and hadn't spoken to my best friend in a while, when out of nowhere, the apartment intercom rang. It was him!! I ran out of the shower to answer it, and slipped.. smashing my head off the tub. But I didn't care!! My best friend was there. I jumped off the elevator, and there he was EXACTLY as I pictured 100's of times. We talked, and then went our separate ways again. That moment, that visit changed my life in so many more ways then he knows. I went upstairs broken hearted at having to say goodbye to him again, but reminded of the person I was. The person I had somehow lost along the way.

When my son was born, my best friend was living in Kingston. I was driving down to visit family and stopped in Kingston overnight. I stared at the phone in that hotel room for hours. We hadn't spoken since he visited, and there were so many things I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to meet my son, to know how seeing him that day changed my life. But I couldn't do it. I was afraid of any other things I might say to him to spoil this great friendship we had going.

He moved again. This time to another country and although staying friends was hard for both of us, its what we did. So when his marriage was coming to an end, I was there, supporting him and the boys in any way I could. I looked for a place for him to stay, I sent his resumes out, I even got him a volunteer position at the place I worked, so he wouldn't have to be alone all day long. My family opened their arms and house to him, embracing him in a way that his own family couldn't due to location.

Spending months and months like this, together all the time, sharing, talking, it brought back all the old feelings I had. Then one day while taking about local rumours (we all know what those are like, right?) we sort of said... well... what if we went on a date? and with that, I was hooked, ans with that, found all my dreams as a silly bratty teenager coming true.

When I think of where we were 16 years ago, and where we are now... 52 days till the wedding doesn't seem like a big deal. If I could wait 14 years for a first date, I can wait 51 for a hug.

:)

WAIT!!!!!!!

2009-10-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

Unless you're brand new to the blog (and if you are, HI! Welcome, take a read back a few posts!) you know that I'm waiting. I'm getting married, I'm moving to a new country. Everything seems so far away, and the lower the numbers get, the harder the days get.

I HATE waiting!! I am an oven door opener, a paint toucher and a gift peeker. And its not just MY stuff I hate waiting for. A couple nights ago while wrapping Christmas gifts for McHubby, I must have asked at least 20 times "Do you want to know what Hayd got you?" "Can I tell you?" I just hate waiting!

I know, I know... In Gods time, patience is a virtue, etc. etc. I got an ever so helpful email from my future S-I-L quoting Ecclesiastes 3. In case you don't know it, here's the gist... There's a Right Time for Everything. 1 There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth: 2-8 A right time for birth and another for death, A right time to plant and another to reap, A right time to kill and another to heal, A right time to ... so forth and so forth. Gods times things for a reason. (Please don't think I'm making light of the passage. I've seen HOW and WHY Gods timing doesn't always match mine. My parents have been ministers for 40+ years, my in laws have been ministers for about the same amount of time, McHubby was a minister for over a decade. Our faith is strong... our practice... is.. well like everyone else)

Do you know anyone who's a good "Waiter"? I've been known to spout the same "helpful" stuff to people who are waiting during counselling sessions. But I've stopped doing it. Because how can I say that to them when I don't live it myself? I don't know one of us who's had to wait for something we've really wanted who's sat back with a smile when the person/money/plans are postponed and gone "*sigh* its so nice that I've been given this time to wait because God's got his reasons." SERIOUSLY!!! Who does it?!?

Last night, Shel and I were both having a hard night keeping it together. Having our family spread out like it is in 3 different countries is hard. Being single parents and parenting from a distance is hard. Last night it was overwhelming. So instead of focusing on the time we have left before we're together again, we played 20 questions with our past. Things like "What did you think the first time we met?" or "When did you KNOW?" So it gave me an idea for a great blogpost. But right now I HAVE to attack the Laundry monster that's been attacking my hamper for 2 weeks...Check back in a couple hours :)

My Nose Business

2009-10-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

OK... Its Tuesday and my brain has stopped working completely.. so.. instead of thinking of something funny, and actually interesting to read I'm going to share something I wrote on my facebook last year. Hope you enjoy. I may be back when my brain stops hitting snooze.

So.. I know that a lot of you will be missing my crazy Sharon stories... I've got one for you today that I HAD to share...I warn you.. if you have a weak stomach.. Do NOT read this note... lol.. I promise you I'll tell you a cleaned up version if you ding me.

I've been having headaches for.. months... headaches is the wrong word actually... It's been one headache.. just varying in degree. I've been off work for a month and a half because it was so bad. So my Dr sent me for Xrays, and I've come back with "Severe Sintutitis". or.. as my Dr put it "You have very bad..." and then waved her hand in front of her face... lol.Dr Lilly (my dr) sent me to an ENT specialist to have him take a look at my throat, which she said there were some concerns with as well.After waiting about 3 weeks for an appointment, I went on Monday to T.E.G.H. to have them look down my throat.. up my nose... and whatever other horrors I was imagining.

I got into the Drs office. He asked how I was feeling, I said fine and he said "then why the hell are you here?" LOL.. Nice... confidence level dropping... lol. He says "Im worried about your sinuses... Im going to take a look at them. The Xrays show there is something in your nasal passage.. about 2cm up (in? down?). He grabs a scope.. a VERY scary looking machine, and sticks it up my left nostril... I have a cold at the moment... I dont think that was a wise idea.. but he's the Dr. He takes a look in the scope and says "Hmm.. this one is so blocked I can't even see anything" Images of snot rose in my head like the sugar plumb fairy. He takes the scope and then jams it up my right nostril... and jam is no exaggeration.... I think it poked me in the eye!! The force of this THING in my nose caused me to slam my eyes shut and he says "oh no.. open your eyes...." I do and he says give me your hand".. Im thinking... awww... what a comforting Dr... he sticks the scope in my hand and says.. "here! take a look"...

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW....

I'm looking at this DISGUSTING thing that looks a little like the swamp creature and he says "Thats your sinuses... what do you think of them" ... what do I think? they're... pretty?... pink... is there a right answer? My dr says "I dont like the look of them!" so I said.. "no.. me neither" and watched them move while I talked... strange... He says.. we need to take care of these... I'll tell you what we're going to do....2 weeks of antibiotics.. (I've just finished week 3 of antibiotics!! no more pills!!) Nasal spray for 3 months... (I HATE nasal spray!! It burns!!!!)and a sinus rinse...

hmm.. that sounds.. pleasant... like a trip to the spa... or like a rinse at the hair dressers... He says let me get you the kit.

KIT?!?!?

He returns with 2 boxes.. hmmm.. this doesn't look good...he hands me one box with a scary picture of a HUGE bottle on it. he says...What your going to do is fill this bottle with warm water.... open a package of the solution, pour it into the bottle, and then.. standing over a sink.... slowly squeeze the bottle allowing the solution to entre your nasal cavity...

now..

Im a little worried.. it sounds a little creepy... but.. its going to help so I am ok with it.. then... dumb me has to ask..."why stand over a sink?"

"oh.. because the solution is going to run out your mouth."

"out"
"my"
"mouth"?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

Your kidding... right? He says no... this is what you have to do so that we can get a clear cat scan....

CAT SCAN??
"out my mouth?"
I HAVE TO GO!!!

I practically sprint out of the Drs office once he says I can go and into the waiting car. I rip open the box when I get in the car and discover a bottle the size of… well… the size of a 240mL bottle… for those of you who need some reference point… a can of coke is 355mL… and that 100 ML.. NOT a whole lot of difference!!!

On the instructions is a picture… of a woman… with her head over a sink.. and this bottle up her nose..

OMG he isn’t kidding!!!!!!

This AM was my first rinse… After a few tears… a few bad words… and a couple of “I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!” whines… I place the top of the bottle to my right nostril and squeeze.
You know that feeling when you dunk your head under water and forget to plug your nose? THAT is the feeling that instantly hits… but.. I keep on squeezing and I can feel SOMETHING behind my eye moving around.. (ITS ALIVE!!!) as I’m yelling to Shel in the next room “It feels GROSS!” I feel a trickle in my throat..

oh no… Im gonna yack!!!!!

But no.. instead… this salt water solution starts to dribble out… OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! I start to freak out at the thot of it being not JUST solution that’s coming out..
I stop thinking that. The whole bottle MUST be gone.. Only to realize I’ve just put about ¼ of a ¼ of a bottle in my nose.. and I have to keep going…

15 min. later, I have a clear nasal passage… and can sell all the glorious smells that I haven’t smelt in months. The fresh paint that has just been done in our house. The smell of last nights subway (which is far better then the smell of THE subway). The starchy new couch smell as I sit down to wipe away the tears and… solution… that is lingering.Because he is the GREAT guy he is… and because he’s a little bit of a sucker… lol.. Shel agree’s to do a rinse with just warm water… so he knows how it feels… lol… LOL….. ROFL… LMAO…. A few more bad words, a few more I don’t want to’s.. and a few more tears… and we BOTH can smell the glories of the new house… Wow… only 89 more days of doing that to go!!!!

And.. as we sit her.. laughing at our own stupidity for doing it… (him a little more then me.. because his was for fun… the fact that I HAVE to do this for 3 more months… NOT so funny!!) its strange… because you can actually feel your nasal passages fill back up… which.. when you think about WHAT they are filling up with… NOT so funny.

So that’s my Nasal story… Ahhh.. I feel better for having shared it with you.. lol… and the satisfaction that some of you out there are now gripping your nose going “OUCH” while others of you have stopped reading and made a mad dash for the bathroom. LoL…

Welcome to my world…

My Breakup With Monday

2009-10-26T05:57:00.002-07:00

Dear Monday,

We both knew this was coming. We've argued for what seems like forever. You demanding that I MUST start my week your way. My pleading for you to stay away just a little bit longer.

I'm sure by now you know, there's been other days. Tuesdays, just for the simple fact that they weren't you. Thursdays seductive TV line up was too much to resist, although I tried.

But when it became clear that even my son was starting to detest you with cries of "No Momma!! Not Monday!", that I knew I had to stop the hate. (although I secretly loved his craving to spend more time with me)

I tried to embrace all the good things you represented. A new week. Most times, a new job. New alone time, new chance at a skipped diet, or a forgotten hobby. "I'll start Monday" I began to say. And in time, we grew together. We learned, not to love, but to accept the inevitability of our paths crossing.

This morning I woke up, not with an "UGH!! Monday!!" but with a "Hmm... I bet I can get a nap in today!" and we were great. I checked my email while I reflected over events past and future, for you have become my reflective day. I found in my email that you had brought me a token of our love, in the form of a contest win. You always did know my weakness. Through Captive Illusions Giveaways, you brought me a "Save The Hooters" Breast Cancer Awareness bag. One I had been looking for FOREVER!! And I read all this, and I remembered that we were great when we worked together.

Munchkin got ready for school without complaint, and embraced his own Monday. It was wonderful, us as a family. You, Me, Munchkin. I was in such a great mood that I decided to go out an pooper scoop before the lawn people came to cut the grass and rake our leaves. I smiled to myself as the crisp breeze swirled leaves around me, while I walked across the back lawn. Mondays are great, I thought. What else could I add to make this Monday even...

And then you got me!! Like I lion waiting to pounce, you and your deceitful promises were gone as my favorite WHITE sketchers slipped in a pile of poop hidden by a small pile of leaves. The air was no longer crisp, and as it turned cold and blew across me, I could hear your evil Monday laugh through the trees, mocking me, and my trusting nature.

So its enough. I can't take it anymore. Which is why we have to break up. I will try to think of our good times together, and wont speak ill of you in front of Munchkin. He's too easily influenced. I would also like to retain visiting rights for 9:30PM on Monday nights... Darn you Big Bang Theory with you're irresistible nerd humour! I will try to keep these visits civil.

Goodbye Monday!

Heartbreak hotel is CLOSED!!

2009-10-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

I have three magnificent, funny, wonderful boys. BUT there's a problem. They are three HANDSOME boys. I can't begin to explain the terror that strikes in my heart. Shel doesn't get it... He thinks its funny, and often will ask the boys "You got a girlfriend yet?" and when the answer is no, "What?? Why not". Oh.My.Goodness. Don't encourage them!!!! Not about this!!! not yet!!

My 16 year old... 2nd day of school... in a new school, in a new city, in a new country, and he's rhyming off names of the cheerleaders asking if they can eat lunch with him. Girlfriends a month into his new school year!!

My 10 year old went back to the UK this summer with a Tiffany Necklace in his suitcase for his Girlfriend. 10!! TIFFANY!!! I don't own ANYTHING Tiffany!!

But it's OK... I still have my baby... my sweet adorable baby boy! Too young for girls. Last week, I, myself in a very professional manor administered his cootie shot!

On Friday, while out walking the dog, my son said "Momma, I have something private to tell you" (yep... that's why I'm sharing it on the Internet! :P) "You know how last week I told you about the 4 girls who said they had a crush on me?"

hmmm... "yeeeeeaaaahhhhhh...." (I don't think I like where this is going)

"Well, I have a crush on two of them!"

Stop. Breath. In. Out. Its easy.

"oh. What does that mean to you? having a crush on them?"

"It means.... um... well... I think it means... I feel... Ask dad, mama... I don't know how to explain it!"

So I left it... let the information sit for a while.

Today: "So Hayd, you know what you told me about those girls, is it still true?"

"Yeah... I totally like them"

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know"

"Is it like you want to play with them? Or you think about them? You want to spend time with them?"

-Giggle- "NO! Its MORE then that..."

more?? More??

"what do you mean?"

"It means I want to go on a date with them"

-Insert sound made as I faint and hit the floor-

"Um... and... whats a date?"

"It means I want to go to the movies with them.. And... take them for dinner"
-More giggles-

O.M.G!!!

are you kidding me? And... McHubby, baby, man I Love... as you sit there... on our couch... laughing at my spaz over our boys growing up... Remember that one day much sooner then YOU'RE willing to deal with, there is going to be a little blond haired girl who runs up and says "Daddy, can I go with (Joe Blow) to the movies?" HA!!!

And... on a completely different note...

I've been a single mom for 6 years. (And it has SUCKED!!) and in that time, like most moms -single or otherwise- I've given up a LOT of my privacy. I tie shoes while going pee. My phone conversations are often punctuated with "TAKE THAT out of your mouth!!" or "Get down RIGHT NOW!" So... Correcting homework while I was in the bath usually not a big deal. But today... for some reason, I was aching for those 5 minutes of peace (An actual book I bought my son after he drove me nuts one too many times.) So when he came in for the 8,000,000 time to tell me about the Bakkagon fight we were going to have, or... whatever it was... I had it... so... I told him to come closer so I could whisper to him, and I grabbed him, and pulled him in... clothes and all! It's now 3 hours later, and he is STILL talking about it... lol.

My every heartbeat, my every thought today.

2009-10-24T12:05:00.000-07:00

What the ?!?!?!

2009-10-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Holy crow!! What was that yesterday?? Can we say manic?? Hopefully today will be a better day. After a LONG chat with McHubby last night where I bawled, whined, bitched and moaned about how much I missed him, I woke up this AM feeling... not better... but... that I had a choice to make.

I only get a few dedicated moments with McHubby a night. And as much as he says he doesn't mind when I sob that I'm sad, I don't want that to be it for him. I dont want him to come home from a hard day at work and have to listen to me complain. I am 100% that fetch your slippers have supper waiting for you meet you at the door type of person. When he was here, he'd come home from a day at work, and I'd meet him at the door for a hug. Before shoes and coat came off. Even before the front door was shut.

I cherish each moment we have together. More so now that they are shared via Internet instead of being arms reach from each other. I have 55 days to wait until I can get a hug I so desperately need. But I can do 55 days. We've past the 1/2 a year apart milestone. If I can do that... 55 days should be easy, right? So... No more sad! I will suck it up, recognize and admit that the distance bugs him too, and be thankful for what I have... a date to head down, a loving fiance, 3 healthy children... focus on the positive... not the calendar.

Ok.. enough catch phrases for today. Now to clean the house, which I failed to do yesterday after my meltdown.

And... to start on a happy smiley note.... Let me introduce you to my good friend Tim Nutt. He's AWESOME!! Home grown talent who makes me crack up whenever he's near/on tv/ posting on facebook. If you're in the mood for a little toilet humour this AM, I promise you... this is a good place to start your day.

I'm back... sorta

2009-10-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

I'm back.. but only because I said I'd re post. I really can't think of a single thing to say. I've read blog after blog today, and I cried more tears then I ever care to admit.

I cried at the touching tribute Darcie at Life's Unfolding story wrote about her husband in honour of their anniversary. I cried for the years Shel and I spent apart, for the time that could have been "us" time. I cried at the thought of more days apart that are yet to come, and don't know where to start in dealing with them.

I wept until I thought I had no tears left reading Adoptive Mommas story. I grieved for the two little beings I lost before having Hayden. My heart broke at missing out on the childhood of my middle son, and for the smallest of roles I played in my eldest. And I wept for the babies we've named and planned for and for the seemingly impossible wait for them. How do I function without them? How do I plan for family events, days, everything without them here?

I've read these posts and I've developed a serious case of blog-stipation. Nothing... nada zip zilch zero to share. But with that I've developed a pretty hefty case of emotional Diarrhea.

I'll be back tomorrow. Hopefully with a fresh bill of mental health and with something fresh and funny.

Fingers crossed.

Feline Friday... or something equally clever

2009-10-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

Its raining. The house is a mess... I need to clean, and I am NOT feeling it this am... I'll be back to post later... maybe after some caffine and some happy pills... but for now.... enjoy these cats.

ENJOY THEM!! :P